Songsoptok
Talking with amrita
GENERATION GAP IN THE AGE OF
GLOBALISATION
SONGSOPTOK: To which
generation do you belong? To which generations do the members of your immediate
family belong?
AMRITA: My husband and I are ‘Baby Boomers’. Both our brothers belong
to Generation X. Our children are all Millennials.
SONGSOPTOK: In your
opinion, is generation gap a myth or a reality? How would you define generation
gap?
AMRITA: Generation gap is very much a reality. It is the difference in
the way of thinking and attitudes between two generations that constitutes a
generation gap. Every generation thinks that they are as progressive as their
children and they genuinely believe that they have done everything in their
power to understand the views of the next generation (sometimes, compromising
with their own value system, to avoid conflicts within the family). But
unfortunately, the next generation never thinks that their parents make the
grade as far as thinking alike is concerned. What this results in, is major conflicts,
with the younger generation storming off to show their displeasure while the
older generation, more pragmatic and having been witness to many such tantrums before,
go back to their daily chores or to reading their newspaper.
SONGSOPTOK: Have you
personally had problems with your previous generations? In which domains
specifically? How did you react to it then?
AMRITA: As with every other human
being I too have had my share of conflicts with my parents and with people of
the previous generation. Most of these conflicts arose out of differences of
opinion about lifestyles, marriage and also about bringing up my own child.
Very surprisingly, even though the difference in ages was more than two times,
my parents and my child, more often than not shared a very good rapport. They
seemed to understand each other instinctively. My parents seemed much more open
to understand another point of view and less critical about points which they
did not understand, while the offspring tended to not storm off in a huff, when
the grandparents said something that they did not agree with.
SONGSOPTOK: Have you
ever heard “You won’t understand” from the next generation? Do you remember the
specific situations when you heard it? How do you react? And do you remember saying
the same words to your parents / elders? In what context?
AMRITA: I hear those words practically everyday. There is no specific
occasion when I hear them. One fine morning it can be that ‘I don’t understand’
why the offspring eats what he does for breakfast, which I actually don’t understand
and object to. The next day brings about that I ‘don’t understand’ why he
changes jobs as frequently as he does. You see we belong to a generation that
held onto a job at hand as firmly as a dog does a bone. So the concept of
changing employment as regularly as one does clothes is absolutely foreign to
me. There is generally a big storm that brews when this topic is discussed.
Lastly, the point where we disagree most violently is on the topic of nuptials.
This is where the major storm breaks upon our heads. I do remember disagreeing
with my parents but, to tell you the truth, I never remember throwing a
tantrum. My mother would have had me locked up had I dared raise my voice to
the octaves that my offspring does and I had a healthy fear of my mother’s eyes.
SONGSOPTOK: In a
globalized world all generations dress alike, eat alike, dream alike – is it
still possible for generation gap to exist? Or do the reasons for the famous
gap lie elsewhere?
AMRITA: The generation gap is not a physical gap. All the outer manifestations
can be worked upon so on the surface, you cannot tell a mother from her
daughter or a son from his father. But what happens to the mind? The generation gap exists solely in the mind.
It is a product of the different ways of living and thinking that are inherent
to man as he grows older and dare I say, wiser! The funny thing is that now I
find myself repeating my mother’s words to my son. They come instinctively to
me, I know not from where! And the same words that had irritated me silly, when
I was growing up, now actually seem to be making so much sense.
SONGSOPTOK: Given
that in this age of connectivity, it is easier for parents or guardians to keep
connected with their children or wards (keep track of their activities through
Facebook, Whatsapp or whatever) – also make them aware of their own interests
and individualities - do you think “generation gap” still exists? If yes, why
do you feel so? If no, could you please share with our readers on the ways that
you remain connected and how does that help you overcome the gap.
AMRITA: It is indeed wonderful what the Social Media has done to change
all our lives and touch parts of
ourselves that we would not even have thought existed. Our offspring know our
friends, what we do and vice versa. Life would have been perfect, but life so
rarely is. These days the next generation has found ways and means to dodge our
relentless scrutiny. They have put us on ‘Limited Profile’. Which means that we
get to see only the parts that they want us to see. And I have it on the best
of authority that Facebook is very passé as far as the next generation is
concerned. They have moved on to a new age lingo which though English, is far
away from any English that we know. The gap as I have said before, is in the
mind and it is the mind that we should try and understand if this generation
gap is to be bridged.
SONGSOPTOK: What do
you think – is generation gap a gap between two individuals of different age
groups or is it really between two generations across individuals? In this
context, what role can the parents / elders play to bridge the gap if it
exists?
AMRITA: A generation gap is never found only between two individuals.
This gap always rears its head between two generations. This is because of the
difference in their socio-economic evolution. It is very possible for parents or elders to
try and bridge this gap. All it requires is an open mind and the readiness to
change their way of thinking and look at things from the point of view of the
other party. Now the older generation would find it easier to do this job. The
younger generation is definitely not so mature and neither are they expected to
be. Experience and age both play their role and as the wheel of life turns the
generation gap does narrow down to just a tiny chasm from the wide gorge that
it once was.
SONGSOPTOK: Do you
ever face troubles created by generation gap outside your family? Especially in
office, educational institutions, market etc.? How do you react to that?
AMRITA: In every institution, there exist people
from several different generations. It would be foolish to expect these
individuals to function perfectly and seamlessly. Hundreds of clashes, big and
small, erupt on a daily basis. The only way to react to this is to try and
explain the situation to both parties individually….when they are in a quieter
frame of mind and if this does not work then just give things a little bit of
time to settle down. They usually do.
SONGSOPTOK: We feel
that generation gap starts creeping in as we age – on one side we try to
acquire new things from changed times and on the other – we try to cling to our
own inheritances. Do you agree? What would be your advice on how one can
overcome this contradiction, if at all?
AMRITA: I agree that as we age we find ourselves facing this
contradiction within our own lives. But to me, this contradiction has come as a
cause for celebration rather than as a cause for concern. I feel that I am able
to see both sides of a situation hence have a well rounded approach towards the
problem. The old and the new suddenly seem to co-exist beautifully. The only
thing necessary is an open mind!
SONGSOPTOK: Please
leave some parting words for the next generation, your generation and the
previous generation that reflect your thoughts on this topic.
AMRITA: Life is like a circle and nothing in this life is permanent.
Youth, middle age and old age are all different parts of the same life. We all
pass through these stages. As elders, we must remember the different parts of
our journey and when the youngsters make mistakes we must learn to be more
tolerant…..and remember our own journeys. Youngsters too need to keep in mind
that the ‘old fogies’ were once as young
as they themselves now are and they have
a wealth of experience which can be drawn upon. The older generation know the pitfalls and
sometimes all that they are trying to do is avoid those pitfalls for their next
generation. The two can co-exist. All that is needed is a large spoonful of
patience.
AMRITA KANGLE: is a realtor and architect by profession and a
writer, poet and artist by passion
We sincerely thank you
for your time and hope we shall have your continued support.
Aparajita
Sen
(Editor:
Songsoptok)
0 Comments
