Songsoptok
TALKING WITH SIDDHARTH
GENERATION GAP IN THE AGE OF GLOBALISATION
SONGSOPTOK: To which generation do you belong? To which generations do the
members of your immediate family belong?
SIDDHARTH: In keeping with contemporary
definitions, loosely defined as they may be, I belong to the much vilified
group called the ‘Millennials.’ Being the only child, and an unmarried one, I
thankfully have to grapple only with the travails of the generation preceding
mine - my parents - who can both be clustered under the ‘Baby Boomers’ label.
SONGSOPTOK: In your opinion, is generation gap a myth or a reality? How
would you define generation gap?
SIDDHARTH: I should think the generation gap is a
difference in the points of view of two or more generations brought on by the
evolution of culture, technology and several other socio-economic factors. In
my opinion, it is a very real phenomenon. Although I daresay it is not as wide
a chasm as it is portrayed to be in books and other media.
SONGSOPTOK: Have you personally had problems with your previous
generations? In which domains specifically? How did you react to it then?
SIDDHARTH: Indeed. I have had several clashes with my
parents, more so in my teenage years. Back in the day, I went to a college
where the students believed in - let’s just put it this way - living life king
size. Naturally, I used to be invited to a goodly number of parties every now
and then. Throw in a sleepover or two (which, of course, included all sorts of
nefarious activities well known to all teenagers), and one would find his
social calendar rather choc-a-block. Of course, attending these required
surmounting two barriers, namely a) parental permission b) money. Accordingly,
I used to dutifully trot up to the mother with a lot of hope in my heart to
seek her permission. As was the case most of the time, she used to deflect the
topic with a very thoughtful, “Don’t ask me. Ask your father.” Hope sinking
fast, I used to take a quick five minutes to concoct a story to relay to my dad
as to why this was the most important party in the world and why attendance was
almost compulsory. Then, after having developed a plausible story and gathering
the necessary amounts of courage, the question was posed to the father who,
with levels of disdain that I still marvel at, shot back with “Don’t ask me,
ask your mother.” Then with the desperation of a shepherd trying to free his
only lamb from the jaws of a wolf, I used to try and reason (read - throw a
fit) with my mother. Invariably, I got the same lecture every time. “Bhalo barir
bachcha ra raatire baayre ghure baraay na”, or something to that effect, which
essentially meant that kids from good homes do not leave said homes at nights
to lead the vagabond life at a club or a friend’s place. This nugget was
apparently passed on to the parents from their parents, who, based on the
stories told to me, were so strict in their upbringing of my parents that they
could make Kim Jong Un seem like a harmless teddy bear in comparison.
Clearly, my parents were
somewhat keen to apply the prevalent principles of 1965 (BC?) in the early
2000s. In my view, they simply didn’t understand that in this day and age, it
is equally important to let your hair down, have some fun, know and maintain
relationships with people, as is probably anything else that makes for good
life habits. In their eyes, what was good enough for them was good enough for
me.
Back then, I reacted most of the
time by rebelling, sometimes sulking, sometimes by simply walking out of the
house (Kids, please don’t try this at home) and sometimes, very very rarely,
with the sagacity of the Buddha - i.e. retiring to my room peacefully with the
promise of living to fight another day.
SONGSOPTOK: Have you ever heard “You won’t
understand” from
the next generation? Do you remember the specific situations when you heard it?
How do you react? And do you remember saying the same words to your parents /
elders? In what context?
SIDDHARTH: In the same context described above, I have
heard, “You will understand when you get older.” when I used to question my
parents as to why I cannot go out at nights, like all my other friends could. I
always wondered why I was getting such cryptic responses. I mean, doesn’t
everything on earth have an explanation? Not getting one was a rather
frustrating experience, and for the life of me, I wondered why I kept getting
such vague and high handed answers.
I quickly found myself on the
other side of the fence when I was breaking away from the confines of the
traditional office and trying to set up my own financial services company. My
father, who has always worked in a company, was not very quick to accept that
today’s generation has a larger propensity to take risks in life, and do not
mind risking the safety of a monthly wage for an opportunity to make their
dreams come true. Although he eventually accepted my decision, it did take some
coaxing. In one such heated discussion, I distinctly remember having told him,
“Let it go, Dad! You just don’t understand how the world works these days.” It
was a pretty amusing moment, and my mother still gently reminds me of it. My,
how the world had come a full circle!
SONGSOPTOK: In a globalized world all generations dress alike, eat alike,
dream alike – is it still possible for generation gap to exist? Or do the
reasons for the famous gap lie elsewhere?
SIDDHARTH: It is indeed possible for the generation gap
to exist in spite of globalisation. My theory is that a large contributor to
the existence of a generation gap is socio-cultural evolution. If we are, by
and large, shaped by our upbringing and other external influences in our early
years, and if we tend to use those as guiding principles while communicating
with a subsequent generation, it follows that there will be some gap between
the influences exerted by a prior generation and those prevalent in the world that
the current generation lives in. Accordingly, I feel that a generation gap will
always exist. It is only the severity that may vary, and that might be a direct
function of the age gap between any two generations.
SONGSOPTOK: Given that in this age of connectivity, it is easier for
parents or guardians to keep connected with their children or wards (keep track
of their activities through Facebook, Whatsapp or whatever) – also make them
aware of their own interests and individualities - do you think “generation
gap” still exists? If yes, why do you feel so? If no, could you please share
with our readers on the ways that you remain connected and how does that help
you overcome the gap.
SIDDHARTH: It has definitely made it easier to narrow the
gap down, even if it has not eliminated it completely. The internet has made it
easier to provide evidence to a previous generation that the ideas and actions
of their children / grandchildren are not as revolutionary as they think them
to be. For example, I made my parents read multiple stories of people who had
quit a stable job to pursue their interests. That went a long way in soothing
their nerves about my actions!
It is my humble assertion that
the readers try to use social media like Youtube, Google, Twitter to show the
previous generation that there are indeed others like you in this world who
share your beliefs and thoughts and have made the “unconventional” work for them. Social proof
can sometimes go a long way in bridging the generation gap!
SONGSOPTOK: What do you think – is generation gap a gap between two
individuals of different age groups or is it really between two generations
across individuals? In this context, what role can the parents / elders play to
bridge the gap if it exists?
SIDDHARTH: In my opinion, the answer lies somewhere in
the middle, with the severity of the gap being a function of the age difference
between two individuals. It would help if parents and other elders kept an open
mind while communicating with or addressing the needs (and angst) of the
younger generations. You can provide all the proof in the world to someone but
no ground will be covered if they don’t keep an open mind and are not accepting
of ideas that go beyond their comfort zone & understanding.
SONGSOPTOK: Do you ever face troubles created by generation gap outside
your family? Especially in office, educational institutions, market etc.? How
do you react to that?
SIDDHARTH: To be very honest, I have not faced problems
stemming from a generation gap in educational institutes. However, I have faced
massive problems working with the ‘Old fogies’ in a professional setting. At
the risk of generalising, I have noticed that the older generation is of a
bureaucratic disposition, preferring to work with established standards and a
paint-by-numbers attitude rather than trying to find customised solutions to
individual problems. I have also found that they are not very open to new ideas
put forth by people they perceive to be ‘junior’ to them.
There is very little that can be
done in this specific set of circumstances. All I do is present my ideas as
clearly as I can, explaining my rationale, and hope that it is received well.
If it is, great! If not, all one can do is keep one’s head down and continue
working.
SONGSOPTOK: We feel that generation gap starts creeping in as we age – on
one side we try to acquire new things from changed times and on the other – we
try to cling to our own inheritances. Do you agree? What would be your advice
on how one can overcome this contradiction, if at all?
SIDDHARTH: As a friend once told me, albeit a little
crudely, “Keep in mind that the only way to stay afloat in life is to keep your
input port open and your output port shut.” What he meant is, learn, listen and
observe a lot more than pontificate.
My advice would be in the same
vein. Keep an open mind, and a scientific temperament. Keep educating yourself
about the world around you. Let go of all ‘inheritances’ if there is no further
rationale for holding on to them, lest they turn into prejudices. Learn to
think from another person’s point of view. Walk a mile in their shoes before
judging them or shutting them down, if you are in a position to do so. It is my
humble assertion that not only will this help in reducing the ‘generation gap’,
it will also enable you, dear reader, to have a fully developed and well
trained mind.
SONGSOPTOK: Please leave some parting words for the next generation, your
generation and the previous generation that reflect your thoughts on this
topic.
SIDDHARTH: May I first thank the reader for allowing me
to lecture them, and for reading very patiently through the sermon.
I would like to conclude by
saying that every generation is indeed lucky to be influenced by both a
generation older than as well as younger than them, at different stages in
their lives. We must all make the most of that opportunity to learn from each
of them and to enjoy and embrace their points of view. While it may lead to
short term strife, it can only help us grow as individuals and well-functioning members of society in the long run.
SIDDHARTH KANGLE: I am a Financial Services
professional in India, having worked across Private Equity, Investment Banking
and Wealth Management. I am a keen student of “Value Investing” and I enjoy
reading, cooking, gardening, driving and playing Warcraft.
We sincerely thank you for your time and hope we shall have
your continued support.
Aparajita Sen
(Editor: Songsoptok)
0 Comments
