Songsoptok
TALKING WITH ANINDA
GENERATION GAP IN THE AGE OF
GLOBALISATION
SONGSOPTOK: To which
generation do you belong? To which generations do the members of your immediate
family belong?
ANINDA: Baby Boomers (ages
46–64)—self, wife Generation X (ages 30–45),
Daughter Generation Z (ages 13–18) just crossing 18the bar
SONGSOPTOK: In your opinion,
is generation gap a myth or a reality? How would you define generation gap?
ANINDA: Last Saturday
I was attending a fantastic
workshop by a Kannada mgt guru from Hubli …
He was talking about this aspect as one of d major crisis
in families & apples of
discord. A) Dress sense of youngsters, their fashion n style
B) their English, C) Their food n relaxing / recreation behavior. I
modestly told him, sir, in our family all 3 are poets ; although my wife disallows /
disallowed my daughter to go to an outing with peers , especially during her Bangalore days, we make
long visits including to such
places & the family matters are dictated / commanded / decided by
our daughter . In fact, many Bengalee
families are, like North East, matriarchal, much different from Hindi
heartland… In our family, my wife aged
43 years love wearing Western n I
love her wearing ultra modern dresses ,
which she fears venturing not wearing
….. There is hardly any difference
/ gen gap between 2 ladies in my family aged 18 n 43. Some ppl fail to make out my wife’s age… So,
gen gap, to me, is a fruit of crap ,
regressive mindset .
SONGSOPTOK: Have you
personally had problems with your previous generations? In which domains
specifically? How did you react to it then?
ANINDA: ---- I surely had it
enough…. My parents did not allow my
wife to wear even salwar kameez , forget western, in her 20s … and their
oppression on me n my wife, both financial n lifestyle, their impeachment on our
spending, the part of my earning to rest with me , their dictatorial behavior on our
tours / lack thereof , their prohibitions on me n especially on my wife’s
poetry , recitation n functions
induced me with a determination to leave
them for an independent life away in Patna …. In fact, my career at Jamshedpur got jeopardized by them , who played with it like
a toy …
my dad , despite hardly
contributing to d coffer, was to be reckoned
as karta , which I refused to buzz..
& they wanted a
pet wife for me ,in a way I n my wife
live a crippled life
SONGSOPTOK: Have you ever
heard “You won’t understand” from the next generation? Do you remember the
specific situations when you heard it? How do you react? And do you remember saying
the same words to your parents / elders? In what context?
ANINDA:: Yaa… n I’ve not
tried to understand… I do not understand
half of what my daughter write n even
hear as music…my wife loves
listening during morning walk, so
that sometime she is able to
understand but I’m a Bengalee n I don’t
want learning so much of American accent… And, I had also given such things to my
parents … n what’s wrong in that?
Neither we can understand, nor should we so try 100% of another
generation—previous / later…. But only thing is, gap should not be much …
distance should be respectable n not self-defeating…. Both parties should
maintain n honor a safe distance as are unbridgeable.. We
still hear it especially wrt
my daughter’s friends related behavior, her whatsapp
n FB chats n her friends’
vocabulary.. her preference n
rejection of male partners / friends n vice versa…
SONGSOPTOK: In a globalized
world all generations dress alike, eat alike, dream alike – is it still
possible for generation gap to exist? Or do the reasons for the famous gap lie
elsewhere?
ANINDA: Whatever similarity dress
similarity may throw in, thinking process shall differ; IQ shall differ, as also
the EQ. We must appreciate the need for freedom n liberty, not only financial but
in d whole of lifestyle…. I like my daughter to smoke n drink with us, in case
we do casual smoke / drink sometimes… Unlike
my dad of old days ( he / my dad
is very modern nowadays—adores my wife
in western , shared Taquilla , Fenni n
Black Dog with me in Goa ) I shall not
ask my daughter
to show unnecessary overdose of respect…. I prefer no
subordinate call me Sir…I prefer them to call me Dada.. and I have seen my best friendly elders sharing
brotherly behavior with sons in twenties … I shall
definitely not like my wife to
impose her wishes n summons on her daughter / any likely daughter in
law as she herself suffered in the hands of her mom in law.
SONGSOPTOK: Given that in
this age of connectivity, it is easier for parents or guardians to keep
connected with their children or wards (keep track of their activities through
Face book, Whatsapp or whatever) – also
make them aware of their own interests and individualities - do you think
“generation gap” still exists? If yes, why do you feel so? If no, could you
please share with our readers on the ways that you remain connected and how
does that help you overcome the gap.
ANINDA: Groups are always
different, circles are
different… we should follow them , but not cross that boundary… being connected just
gives seniors some impetus into life habits n thought processes of juniors , their likes –dislikes, penchants, feelings
of joys n sorrows, break ups / heart
breaks / rejoices … that’s all; thru thick n thin, thru successes n failures
we should be with / beside them, without straining them with our imposed pressures of life that lead them to commit suicide… that
overcomes the precious n
precise gaps… they need to accept
you as friends… , as also their peers / friends’ circles …
we should all be friendly n my dear… otherwise, they shall
hide so many n imagine / internalize n become more introvert with growing age..
SONGSOPTOK: What do you
think – is generation gap a gap between two individuals of different age groups
or is it really between two generations? In this context, what role can the
parents / elders play to bridge the gap if it exists?
ANINDA: To understand Krishna,
u need to be a Radha n not a Vaishnav …
to understand Kali, u need
to be Ramakrishna n not a tantric… to
understand Allah, u need to be
a prophet n not a Muslim, to understand Christ, u must be a non
Christian…. Meaning, u have to love n
internalize the sacred feeling …. Why
Communism n socialism failed is because they
imitated / followed too very
mechanically… all gaps are in mindsets of individuals … 2 guys
of 50 years are never equal… my
wife n I are younger at heart than many
young ppl in 30s… we
need to think / be our children
to bridge those gaps …they must accept us n not fear …must
be able to take us as
friend , philosopher n guide … must
realize our bliss
always with them as shadows
, hands on their shoulders ..
SONGSOPTOK: Do you ever face
troubles created by generation gap outside your family? Especially in office,
educational institutions, market etc.? How do you react to that?
ANINDA: Not so much… there have
been stubborn… I have been stubborn in
cases n situations … but I
have always tried to mitigate my demanding status , like an elder bro… I am quite enviably
popular in my deptt…. Across deptts n groups, accepted as a leader… (Not a so
called boss).. they generally
always want me in any gathering n feel,
my section is d best n think, without me no party can get success … But
that’s for Gen y…. for gen old, yaa, they do not like me,
as I challenge all old methods …
renew..Rethink.. Metamorphose, overhaul,
like gen Y newer incumbents.
SONGSOPTOK: We feel that
generation gap starts creeping in as we age – on one side we try to acquire new
things from changed times and on the other – we try to cling to our own inheritances.
Do you agree? What would be your advice on how one can overcome this
contradiction, if at all?
ANINDA: That should not happen…
our minds must be evergreen…. We
must venture n endeavor into newer
pastures … with age… aging is a
dysfunction of brain … yaa, most of us
try to justify , me too,
what I am doing is right … because age n experience matters… but we
must appreciate, newer ppl invent newer
techniques, make better
innovations… we must upgrade ourselves with huge knowledge
they are coming with n whatever better
modern managerial / leadership /
technocratic skills they are
offering… in a competitive world , they go up , who can
change themselves n accept Change
as a way of life…be a part of change n try to Lead such change
SONGSOPTOK: Please leave
some parting words for the next generation, your generation and the previous
generation that reflect your thoughts on this topic.
ANINDA: CHANGE CHANGE ,
CHANGE…MUST KEEP EYES-EARS OPEN… LISTEN
TO ALL … GATHER MOSS THRU JOURNEY OF LEARNING.. ALWAYS ACCEPT CHANGE AS
A WAY OF LIFE… be a part of change n try to Lead such change
ANINDA GHOSH: An ACA of 1990, a poet-writer-
strong BJP critic & a staunch believer in HDI based economic upliftment and wealth creation of
nations . Lives in Karnataka ( last 8 yrs)
& love art films , little
mags, group theatres .
We sincerely thank you
for your time and hope we shall have your continued support.
Aparajita
Sen
(Editor:
Songsoptok)
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