Songsoptok
INTERVIEW
Valentine’s Day – myth or reality?
SONGSOPTOK: Valentine’s Day has become
one of the major festivals these days, comparable to Thanksgiving, Christmas,
Diwali, Id, Rosh Hashanah or Chanukah and observed by men and women
irrespective of religion. Do you agree? How important is it in the country you
live in??
ANTORA: Very important I can say. It’s a day to
celebrate love (only one kind of love between two persons that we mean by
“Love”, the hearts - roses -chocolate love, the hugs and kisses love and the
Annie Geeds Quotes Love)– so its good if not great.
SONGSOPTOK: There are several different views about the history and origin of
Valentine’s Day. Which is the version you know about?
ANTORA: I really don’t know about
any versions honestly. Till I was in my teens, I didn’t know something like
this even exists and then the world changed. We encountered Globalization with
open market policies. Archies started selling hearts and cards and teddies and
suddenly roses became expensive. It was then we came to know about this day.
That’s all. And who cares for history – love is eternal.
SONGSOPTOK: Why do you think Valentine’s Day has become so important all over the world
irrespective of the political, social and religious dimensions? Do you think
that the anxiety and stress related to modern day relationships have
contributed to its growing popularity all over the world?
ANTORA: I don’t think there are such
grave reasons. It’s just another day like “world aids day” or “world tobacco
day”. A specific day to call “world love day”. With growing threats and
stresses of human lives (which are fundamentally same irrespective of religions
and regions), we need a reason to celebrate, to feel special, to make it marked
and witness with our loved ones .It’s like that page of the novel which we keep
turning on , or a line of a song that we keep humming , or like a scene in the
movie that we want to play every time in our mind – something different , something
exciting , something where pleasure is involved and something which we believe
eternal (even for a day).
SONGSOPTOK: Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? In what way? If you don’t, will you
please explain why not?
ANTORA: Yes of course. I love to
celebrate “days”. I mark different days
and keep celebrating. The day I first
met my boyfriend, the day I got my first job, the day my son appeared for his
first ever interview (school), - there are many and I keep celebrating my way.
Coming back to V-day, I celebrated with my then boyfriend with
hearts-flowers-chocolates, dining out, watching movie, walking hand-in-hand,
promising that we would never ever fight – did everything that people do. Did
it with love and pride.
SONGSOPTOK: Do you feel obliged to do something special for your spouse/partner on
Valentine’s Day or it is similar to and as natural as celebrating birthdays and
anniversaries? In other words, is there any peer pressure to conform to the
traditions associated with the modern version of Valentine’s Day?
ANTORA: I just need a day to
celebrate. Love to shop for the day, feel excited to keep thinking what should
I wear with which shoes. Spend hours in packing the gift and write a note. It
has always been extremely loud and overwhelming for me. Even today when I am
nearly 40 years old, I love to go out on the day with my friend–but the choices
are more subtle now. I don’t jump for a heart-shaped balloon but I love to get
chocolates for sure.
SONGSOPTOK: According to you what, if anything, is
special about Valentine’s Day? Does it play an important role in romantic
relationships? Why? Is it important for you to surprise your partner on
Valentine’s Day? What would be your preferred way?
ANTORA: Each day plays an important
role in a romantic relationship. The problem is we have nowadays changed the
definition of being romantic. The social networking killed it all – the world
ends inside the small square gadget. Its very much necessary to keep the
“surprise” element alive in any relation and for couples, it’s a must. Else
everything falls flat and drab. V-day creates and opportunity to make it large
and different than any ordinary day. It triggers an alarm to the romantics like
–ting-tong, tomorrow is the day when you have to be nice and smiling, she’s
waiting for a present and more than anything she wants some good time. On the
other hand its like keeping aside all not-so-good stuffs and looking forward a
happy time. The effort takes care of the rest. It’s good to get a reminder each
year , on a day to create a surprise. From a burnt cake to a ring in the
champagne – everything is worth rejoicing.
SONGSOPTOK: Do you buy gifts on Valentine’s Day? What type of gifts do you normally
buy? Do you think it is important to follow the norm and go for the traditional
gifts like flowers, chocolates, cards, perfumes etc.? Please share your
motivations or lack of them with us?
ANTORA: IThe d gifts for V-day, nothing expensive or jazzy. Something simple , something
that defines you. Cards were a must those days, bought many cards and gifted
them with a hand written letter (with unforced spelling mistakes). Used to
spray perfume on the letter so that it smells good. The gifts varied from pen,
books, candles, cosmetics, CDs , Cassettes, notebook, deo sprays and
coffee-mugs. I personally like traditional stuffs.
SONGSOPTOK: Marketing Gurus often dub Hallmark as the official sponsor of Valentine’s
Day in the USA. Do you have any equivalent in your own country? Do big consumer
good companies carry out an aggressive promotion campaign for Valentine’s Day?
What are their preferred channels? Do social media play an important role in
this respect in your country of residence?
ANTORA: “Archies” in my time. They were competitors of Hallmark in my
country. Since Facebook was born, they took care of everything.
SONGSOPTOK: What are the popular customs related to Valentine’s Day in the country you
live in? What do you think about them? Do you think that men and women actually
enjoy and look forward to 14th February or is it just a matter of keeping up
with the Jones’??
ANTORA: In my country people
actually enjoy. There are limited scopes of celebrating love here, youngsters
are always threatened with “morality” and “social norms” when it comes to
celebrate a very natural /normal /human emotion. V-day makes it special for
them officially. The first date, first holding hands, first kiss, first movie
together, first gift from the saved pocket money, first appreciation, first
promise – V-day witness many of these every year. Yes there are heartbreaks and
tears and fights and ugliness – but that also becomes special courtesy this
date.
SONGSOPTOK: Do you think that there is actually a social stigma for single, unattached
people who do not celebrate Valentine’s Day? Do you think that the Valentine
Day extravaganza may have a negative impact on their psyche, moral and ultimately
their well-beings? What is your own experiences? Would you please share it with
us?
ANTORA: In the beginning I mentioned
that we are very obsessed with only one kind of “love” in V-day. Although there
are no rules unless one choose to bind him/her to “that” type of love. One can
celebrate even with his pet for all he cares in V-day . Who is there to stop?
These days I celebrate with my son and my friend, we enjoy the most. It depends
completely on the individual and their preferences. I know many people who shop
for their grandparents on V-day and there are some who break tea-cups. And
there are many things in heaven and earth to create negative impact on the
moral and well-beings . V-Day would the last in the list .
ANTORA KAR:I am a single mother with a beautiful nine year old son, living a good
life with my aging mother and brother. In a matter of 3 years, my husband and
my father made a non-returning trip to heaven. I am blessed with a terrific
family with extraordinary cousins, uncles and aunts. I have fantastic friends
who take good care of me and my family. And I still celebrate Valentine ’s Day
with my Valentine.
We sincerely thank you
for your time and hope to have your continued support.
Aparajita
Sen
(EDITOR)
Songsoptok
0 Comments
