SONGSOPTOK: JULIE ANNA

SONGSOPTOK: Is the subject of sex taboo in your own personal family and friends circle? Do you talk freely about sex with your partner / children / friends? If no, why? If yes, what exactly do you talk about? Take this as an academic exercise, and do explain.

JULIE: For most of my life I seldom spoke about the topic as I was molested as a child but of late with my daughter being a member of the LGBTQ community as well as her fiancé we have now have open honest dialogues regarding many things.I am demisexual (meaning I can only feel truly passionate for someone with whom I’ve developed an emotional connection first)and find there is much stigma attached to those of us who don’t fit the *Norm*.I am a deeply passionate sexual being when in a commited relationship and that just means having a compassionate partner who accepts me as I am.

SONGSOPTOK: Do you think that the society today is more permissive compared to the time you were growing up? Do you think it is a good thing? Please let us have your detailed opinion.

JULIE: The media apparently uses sex or sexual overtones in well almost everything.It is not helpful when it is demeaning (sex sells) but it is helpful when it allows open forums.The internet in particular can be a safe haven for those marginalized or seeking help and in that way the more we connect as human race the more we can bring these issues to the forefront and start to create a tolerant community who helps those in need.

SONGSOPTOK: Do you think that a permissive society is dangerous for teenagers, both girls and boys? Or is it on the contrary a good thing since it demystifies sexual acts and makes them look at it as something mundane and normal? Is that a good or a bad thing?

JULIE: I absolutely can speak from experience when I say being open and honest having good communication with our children is a must.We talk openly about birth control and acquire it when they come of age.Having been left in the dark as a child was terribly hard and I ended up pregnant at a young age so I chose to arm my children with all the knowledge I can as I prefer they make informed conscious decisions about something that can have such a huge impact on their future.

SONGSOPTOK: History tells us that sex was not taboo in ancient societies. What, in your opinion, is the genesis of this attitude? Do you think that the rise of patriarchal societies all over the world is the main reason, where man gradually started looking upon the woman as his own property? Or is it mainly religious, where woman was treated as the root of all evils?

JULIE: I know that in my case it was my father who molested me from a young age and we were kept very isolated as a means of control.Some of that particular taboo would also have to include a disgust and ultimate denial of mental issues not being addressed and yes my father was a Deacon in the church (the pastor was also jailed for molesting his daughter)If we had had someone to talk to felt safe to express our pain to it would not have gone as far as it did.There is much shame for the victims and the taboo makes it even harder for them .

SONGSOPTOK: Do you believe sexual attitudes and acts to be normal like all other bodily functions or do you think that there is a special significance to sexual acts? In other words, do sexual acts need to be couched in special sentiments and sanctified by the institution of marriage? What is your own experience? What is the experience of people close to you?

JULIE: I believe religion played a Huge part in stigmatizes and devaluing woman (leaving many feeling like just a possession as opposed to a valued partner.This was compounded by the patriarchal society as a means of control and dominanace.I also believe that the more we connect on a global scale the more we are starting to see a shift in thinking more tolerance and respect for all beings regardless of race .I am part Cree and this has always been a part of our belief system-The value of all life in whatever form it manifests.I hope this trend continues to enlighten future generations,.

SONGSOPTOK: In your opinion, does the taboo about sex give rise to repressive societies where men and women feel obliged to curb their natural instincts and take recourse to abuse, rape or incest?

JULIE: Absolutely,we live in a time of enlightenment yet atrocities such as rape and sodomy are being committed against woman at an alarming rate especially in some 3^rd world countries.It seems to be a part of that ownership sentiment that belittles and devalues the beauty of the female soul.It often seems like were just valued for another’s sexual benefit and always judged by society for the outer form .Which in truth is fleeting and has no bearing on the spirit.

SONGSOPTOK: This brings us to the issue of violence against women in different societies, where women and girls are abused and raped on a regular basis by members of their own families. Do you think that the taboo about sex is the main reason for such behavior? Would a ch

JULIE:I know that in my case it was my father who molested me from a young age and we were kept very isolated as a means of control.Some of that particular taboo would also have to include a disgust and ultimate denial of mental issues not being addressed and yes my father was a Deacon in the church (the pastor was also jailed for molesting his daughter)If we had had someone to talk to felt safe to express our pain to it would not have gone as far as it did.There is much shame for the victims and the taboo makes it even harder for them .

SONGSOPTOK: Have media in general and Internet in particular played a role in either enhancing or diminishing the taboo about sex? In what way?

SONGSOPTOK: Do you think that ultimately sex is all about power and domination, both for men and women? Why? What is your personal experience?

JULIE: For some yes.absolutely and that’s the only way they know how to view the world.For me it is a celebration of the ultimate union of two souls and must be based on mutual respect and true partnership(I did mention I’m a sappy romantic yes?lol ) It is the most beautiful way to share a deep profound connection.For me it is about Love plain and simple.Touch my heart and you’ll find my soul..namaste J

JULIE ANNA: A poet, a dancer a star gazer a dreamer of dreams.A mother a grandmother and one small piece of the beautiful cosmic organism that is humanity.

We sincerely thank you for your time and hope we shall have your continued support.

Aparajita Sen

(EDITOR)

Songsoptok