SONGSOPTOK: What,
in your experience, is the status of a girl child in the family? Is she treated
in the same way as the male child? If not, what are the major differences in
treatment?
MICHAEL
MILLER: In
the U.S. the status of female children can vary greatly. We have great
diversity of education as well as extremely varied religions and sects,
national cultures, different races and traditions, and dogmas brought from many
locations around the earth (many of which still hold that mankind's problems
were created by woman therefore she requires limitations and controls) What
many educated men give lip service to in public , becomes scathingly derogatory
among his social peers. I have seen fathers who genuinely love their progeny
being of either gender and desire both to exceed their peers, find happiness
and prosperity , outstanding men and women unified in a bond of mutual
affection and appreciation for each other’s qualities and passing those on to
their children and the extreme opposite . Differences in treatment can run from
downright physical and verbal abuse, complete neglect, and half-hearted
attention to being truly loved. You name it , I've probably seen it, from being
horrified to amazed at the disparity and treatment of young girls . (But also
of children in general of either gender)
SONGSOPTOK: Does
the girl child have equal access to education in your country irrespective of
economic or social status? What are the main factors that affect the equality
or inequality of access to education ?
MICHAEL
MILLER: A girl’s access to good
education also varies here. A minimal education is Law, but access in rural
communities coupled with various ideological roots and traditions can hamper
acquiring anything considered minimal education. The larger cities have
abundant choices (if not shackled by ideological roots in the home) if one is
aware of what is options are available , home school (primarily used if
ideology conflicts with "mainstream" views) public schooling (which
has now become decreased in courses available to the common student) sectarian
or religious schools, private tuition paid institutions (many offer greater
variety of courses and program intensity) as well as higher education
institutions which are out of reach financially for most, ( the cost of which
now due to escalating interest rates are fast becoming unaffordable especially
if a female cannot get a job which will cover the cost of education to get the
job) So the factors here can and do affect greatly her access to better
education (since families that can afford such higher institutions will likely
send sons to be the "bread winners" of the next generation)
SONGSOPTOK: Do
you think that women, contrary to men, always have to make a choice between
home life and professional career? Is it fair either on men or women? What is
your personal experience?
MICHAEL
MILLER: While I may not personally hold to this view, a mother must
stay home (Proverbs 31:10-31) but those choosing to raise a family will have to
face those choices. If they truly want to give their children the best
foundation and start in life, learning begins and patterns are set between the
ages of birth to seven years. Children who grow up without solid moral and
intellectual guidance will suffer the pains of "having little
direction" in life and more difficulty in adjusting and making decisions
later on. Being grounded in these things comes from early teaching and
practices demonstrated by the parents. Development of character and morality,
ability to understand life and its diversity and disparity are often set in
these earliest of years. Children who have interactive parents do often have
greater abilities to actively engage these in their own lives. My early years
of being at home and instructing the first ones born bears this out; the last
one had the least attention and direction after I was forced to work outside
the home has suffered from the lack of guidance (none from the irresponsible
man who sired them and should have been an active partner). A professional
career might be necessary for income to serve the needs of family , but those choosing
having children should not make that decision lightly if they truly want to
give children the best start in life both girls and boys.
SONGSOPTOK: Detailed
studies have shown that there are very few women across the world who occupy
really top positions both in the private and public sectors. How do you explain
this fact? Do you think that women are less qualified to hold top jobs or are
there other explanatory factors?
MICHAEL
MILLER: I think I can boldly
say if women thought working alongside ruthless, vindictive, prejudiced,
inequitable, unjust attitudes so rampantly pervasive in so many existing institutions,
they would fight much harder to have entry into them. Honestly between the
political entities, governments, corporations and religions being fully
filtrated with men who work every sort of treachery and hold to ideas that
perpetuate violence I want neither to work alongside nor have my children in
the sphere where such characters are rife. I can tell you out of all those who
employed me only two would I work for again. In all seriousness stop this bus I
want to get off. Can we just click "NO" to the current existing systems
that have control of the world and take up a agriculturally focused society
where self aggrandizement and achievement are the NOT targets of the day !
SONGSOPTOK: Even
in the advance countries in the world, there is a large disparity between the number
of men and women in political parties resulting in an under-representation of
women in governments and elected councils. Do you agree with this point of
view? What in your opinion are the main reasons?
MICHAEL
MILLER: Well l pretty much covered
that on the last question. I would add to it the majority of those involved
today follow the same patterns of millennium of empire building nations. The
same elitism and centuries of attitudes that oppress everyone, male and female
alike, are still taught and practiced. The female peers who have managed to
insinuate themselves into centuries old institutions of thought have pretty
much succumbed to the worst practices that humanity has generated over time
themselves. Those who hold these considered highest positions in the realm of
men, hold not even to the law they seek to impose on those they
"think" they rule. The Rule is most are corrupted by thoughts and
attitudes that continue to deconstruct all that can be gained in the areas
considered "good" for humanity and are therefore the foremost in
hindering any true advancement of "good" for the world as a whole .
The myth that a nominal portion of the population is more fit "to
rule" the populace is still alive and well even if all of recorded history
fully demonstrates the "lie" of it. Any that thinks a mutually
involved world government acting as one will not display the same Traits of all
which have gone before it are living in a state of deep self deception . No law
made changes the heart of a man, only instructing them early to seek good and
love justice for everyone will effect any beneficial changes in the behavior of
humanity.
SONGSOPTOK: Do
you think a larger participation and presence of women in all domains –
economic, social and political- are actually required? Would it substantially
improve the nature and quality of services and make the society a better place?
MICHAEL
MILLER: "In a perfect
world" … how many sentences could we start with this. Those of us who have
really dug deeply, tore apart, studied and asked the questions to ourselves and
had long conversations with others seeking answers to the problems that plague
every nation and ideology have probably come to the same conclusion. What would
constitute a perfect, flawless, and well cultivated earth and society? And I
can say women have not been left out of this conversation by those delving for
answers to things that habitually inhibit what society considers
"progress" .Regardless of whether I think women would improve the services
in such institutions, unless those institutions are populated with those of
unbreakable moral character, what difference would it make. Unless we can
instill them (virtues) in the youth, in families, in the smallest starting
place of life "childhood" how in turn will it make a difference in
the whole. The erstwhile seeds of empire and competition, survival of the
fittest must be replaced or realized in what is taught to the succeeding generations.
Right now that means mothers ( who now remain the predominant teachers of
children) must take steps to instill a love of goodness , truth , and love of
ones family , neighbors , mankind . But again there is such disparity of what
"the institutions" consider to be 'standards of behavior' so as to
make this a nearly meaningless exercise. I can only hold myself to consider the
apex of character and living to implement them in my own life . These are
things I am learning to seek and to uphold. What more can we do without some
sort of "divine intervention". How can we overhaul humanity without seeking
a more "divine purpose?”
SONGSOPTOK: Do
you think that for women the choice of a career and that of a family life with
children should be mutually exclusive? Do you think that women who opt for both
are not totally successful in either sphere? What is your own experience?
MICHAEL
MILLER: I suspect that would
depend on what a woman wants to "achieve" in life. Whether it's to
satisfy the self or if in the broader scope she is able to see the true effect
she can realize if she decides to have children. What's more important, money,
achievement, recognition, or being the founding teacher and instructor of the offspring
which she has "chosen" to have (not withstanding many don't make
those choices we know, they are made for her by others and her own desires are
diminished by certain ideological dogmas) or the desire for money and
prominence. Twice I've taken courses called "Investments in
Excellence" both courses demonstrated that the personal needs of
family should be of highest priority in
filling those spaces and fitting all the
"required" needs around that, money, achievement, leisure etc. While
those not having children can slide some of the parameters of life around to
suit themselves, parents should be more cognizant of the influences of those
who will become active participants of the future. Truly I'm not sure I can
even answer a woman trying to pull off having both a professional career and
being successful in giving children the best foundation for their futures and
making them the best kind of people to influence the future. My own attempt at being,
mother, father, breadwinner, disciplinarian and teacher failed miserably (but I
was forced into this position by circumstances). Even having the extent of
knowledge that I have added to my experience do I think I could it pull it off
but only slightly better.
SONGSOPTOK: What
is your opinion about the role played by the mother in bringing up children? Do
you think that mothers should take more responsibility for the well-being of
the children more than the father given that other than breast feeding, almost
every other responsibility can be equally shared between the parents? Please
explain your answer.
MICHAEL
MILLER: We are still dealing
with the natural dispositions of males and females attributes here. While
skills can be taught either gender there are still some distinct physiological
and psychological and temperament issues here. A female is rarely going to
surpass a male in muscular strength; likewise women don't usually have the
greater tendency to use anger and violence upon children. A woman
"appears" to be indelibly more suited for a nurturing influence of
children but I would add fathers must take up a more hands on, active approach
in raising children to have the full benefit of parenting. A solid positive
interactive relationship with one’s children must be part and parcel of
parenting. Why one would choose to have children and not want any to see
achieving grafting the greatest moral character upon them. Whether one is a
farmer, craftsperson, or some other profession required for survival and continuance,
the time away from such concerns should give parents the opportunity to be
abundantly interactive in play as well as instruction. Why bother with family
if one isn't prepared to complete the "occupation" ...
SONGSOPTOK: “Women
have been called queens for a long time, but the kingdom given them isn't worth
ruling” said famous American writer Louisa M Alcott. Do you agree? What, in
your perception, is the kingdom given to women?
MICHAEL
MILLER: I doubt she was jesting.
Really the closest thing I can relate this to is hearing the phrase
"Daddy's little princess" but the reality is that fosters an ideology
in a girl that she should be doted upon but is rarely true in my experience. Too
little are women appreciated even when she is a great wife, mother, homemaker
and truly capable in all she undertakes. I've not seen that many men who truly
appreciate and acknowledge all that his wife may have realized or achieved both
in the work sphere and/or in one’s family. Many women have left the family to seek
acknowledgement for their existence in some other way and found the world to be
as equally lacking in its perspectives. In the US in this century the family
unit has become hard hit by the social infringement of a breakdown in morals.
Anyone thinking a woman could even be appreciated for her value in the home has
become a somewhat "lost notion”. Men are more frequently morally deficient
and unable to field the demands of being committed to the undertaking of family.
While this might have been considered a previously dominated sphere by
adulterous males, women here have taken up behavior that was formerly condemned
as rampant only among mentor perhaps it's just been there all along and only
hidden from view. In this case the myth of being "Queens" has spilled
over into being merely the chaff of being abused and becoming abusers .This is
not a kingdom it is a prison of repeated assault on ones humanity, reason and
ideology.
SONGSOPTOK: Do you agree that
professional women have to work at least twice as hard as men to attain
credibility in her chosen career? What is your personal experience? Do you
think that it is a rule rather than an exception? What in your opinion needs to
be done to bring greater equality in the workplace?
Michael
Miller: Yes I do, even if one
such is incredibly talented, skilled, gifted and a quick study. This is the
norm and not a perception. Even if laws are enacted in attempt to eradicate
such discrepancies, traditionally held ideology still stands as the rule in
placement. While many men have adopted more "liberal" views in
opposing tradition as they were taught more just perspectives by the family ,
unless they are the employers both of the work place and the morality connected
to the fields within it they have little influence unless the course of
injustice within a workplace is fully exposed and sued in court . Too few will
voice outrage as their own financial survival may come into question if loss of
work ensues as a result of exposing injustice. We know this is an age old
threat in all fielded enterprises from governments to corporations and
religious institutions. Again start by teaching the virtues to children and youth.
The more parents teaching children what truth, love, justice, wisdom and understanding
are the better these will flow into the lives of mankind. What you put into your
garden is what will grow.
SONGSOPTOK: Women
who choose to be ‘homemakers’ often feel that they are not respected by society
in general since they do not go out to earn money, though they probably have to
work harder and for longer hours. Would you agree? What needs to be done to really
valorize the homemakers?
MICHAEL
MILLER: Yes I do think many
feel that way. But having my own appreciation for the true requirements to be a
successful mother or father and just acknowledging that to those who are.
Really it takes phenomenal effort to pull off having children and succeeding in
raising them to be well adjusted human beings that are a benefit to the
community in which they live. I might add a note that a great many children just
"survive" their parents rather than their parents being the true boon
and foundation of all they hold dear. And many parents would not admit to
themselves or others they have failed miserably in this the most dear of pursuits.
(for the very reason of never having experienced such parents for themselves) Parenthood
should be considered among the most sacred grounds for teaching lasting
principles to those who will continue to teach them for generations to come. This
is no ground where halfhearted input will create desired results. When what we
earn becomes more important than what we teach and practice ...well we already
have centuries of documented results for that perspective. I love when I find
persons committed to giving their best in all situations, it is a rare and
genial delight.
SONGSOPTOK: On
the other hand, working women very often have to juggle their professional and
personal lives to be perfect both at home and at the workplace. What is your
personal experience? Do you think that a woman really have to be perfect in
both spheres or is this idea self-imposed? In your society, what is expected of
working women?
MICHAEL
MILLER: Working
women/mothers while competing harder to keep their position or advance in them
are still required the same service time input for more tightly
controlled businesses. While many laws have been enacted, traditional
viewpoints still hold the same fields they have for many ages. Here
also most unions have been destroyed so even the nominal protections of
organization have been sweep back into darker periods and the ability to
"police" the policy changes are now defunct. A
few score of bad politicians and corporations have managed to mangle what was
for all intent and purposes a fairly decent country constitution in the last
half century, While the surreptitious rhetoric
of duplicity continues to denude the populations of the world of common decency
by their own ruling "elite”, women work harder and harder just to
keep from sinking under the load and burdens
she is given to accomplish under such oppressing and pervasive "norms”. The
status quo for humanity in general has been/is under even greater
assault than ever before. The erosion of morality in every field makes those
committed to passing on a legacy of love for life an
ever more difficult pursuit . While mankind has rarely enforced virtue, those
mums must be ever more concerned with
passing that legacy onto those who will hold the torches so others might see
light instead of darkness . Perfection is an ideal to reach for, to pass on as
an ideology , a teacher , an inspirer , a beacon , at this time not one
currently living has achieved such
a thing but considering "the paths of perfection" might just as well
be an avenue we as women might continue to
strive to lift up. Juggling or multi-tasking is ever the 'norm' on a woman's
path but centuries have shown many women have held firm to passing on the
ideals to children ...Why should we
stop now ?
MICHAEL MILLER
POET LIVES IN USA.
Aparajita Sen
(Editor:
Songsoptok)
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