SONGSOPTOK: Is the
subject of sex taboo in your own personal family and friends circle? Do you
talk freely about sex with your partner / children / friends? If no, why? If
yes, what exactly do you talk about? Take this as an academic exercise, and do
explain.
OLAJUWON: No, sex taboo is not in my circle. We talk freely about sex and sex
related issues since we believe sex education is the foundation to a moral life
as the society and religion ethics proposed. From a sociology standpoint, why
unwanted pregnancy, sexual harassment and rape are rampant in the society is
due to lack of sex education. As related to my circle, we deemed it wise to
educate our children, family members and colleagues about the pros and cons,
benefits and effects of sex.
SONGSOPTOK: In the society you live in, is
the subject of sex a taboo? If yes, how do you explain it? Is it because of the
religion that is practiced in your country? Or is because of your culture, or
even the beliefs of the political parties in power?
OLAJUWON: The subject of sex as a taboo is
only rampant in some areas of the society and this is due to the religion
practiced, the culture of the society and the traditional mental belief of an
individual or a group of individuals.
SONGSOPTOK: Do you think that the society
today is more permissive compared to the time you were growing up? Do you think
it is a good thing? Please let us have your detailed opinion.
OLAJUWON: Yes, it is more permissive compared to my
growing up time and it is really a good thing.
SONGSOPTOK: Do you think that a permissive
society is dangerous for teenagers, both girls and boys? Or is it on the
contrary a good thing since it demystifies sexual acts and makes them look at
it as something mundane and normal? Is that a good or a bad thing?
OLAJUWON: Permissive society is not
dangerous for the teenagers both girls and boys but it is so disappointing with
the way it has been taken for granted as some young ones misuse their basic
societal freedom. This to me is related to the socialization and civilization
processes which had great negative effects on them.
SONGSOPTOK: History tells us that sex was not
taboo in ancient societies. What, in your opinion, is the genesis of this
attitude? Do you think that the rise of patriarchal societies all over the
world is the main reason, where man gradually started looking upon the woman as
his own property? Or is it mainly religious, where woman was treated as the
root of all evils?
OLAJUWON: In the ancient time, there was a
standard moral ethic, virginity was the pride of a woman and her family; every
woman believed that for her to have been defiled before she knew her man was a
shame upon her and her family, so she would keep herself. Also, since the
society was not permissive, a man would not know her wife until the night of
their wedding; an intermediary always serves in between. However, one cannot
say it is the rise of patriarchal societies in the world that is the main
reason for sex taboo. It can be linked to partly the doctrines of some
religious setups and as society develops, standard moral ethics are devalued;
virginity for some ladies has been the story of the past, sex has been seen as
mundane and normal way of life.
SONGSOPTOK: Do you believe sexual attitudes
and acts to be normal like all other bodily functions or do you think that
there is a special significance to sexual acts? In other words, do sexual acts
need to be couched in special sentiments and sanctified by the institution of
marriage? What is your own experience? What is the experience of people close
to you?
OLAJUWON: Medically it is normal but still
it is not “food”. Since society differs, Marriage institution should be able to
set pattern for sex activities and acts and should be sanctified by the same
institution. Base on the experience in my sphere cum religion pattern, sex is
basically recognize to occur among two partners who are legally married but
with civilization and urbanization, sexual activities and acts have gone viral
and have become so ridiculous with no specific age .
SONGSOPTOK: In your opinion, does the taboo
about sex give rise to repressive societies where men and women feel obliged to
curb their natural instincts and take recourse to abuse, rape or incest?
OLAJUWON: No; because, I do not believe sex taboo should
be the primary prerequisite to curbing people’s natural instincts and taken
recourse to abuse, rape or incent. My perspective about this is to improve activities
on sex education, orientation and liberation. Thus, severe punishment also
should be given to anyone caught in sexual harassment or rape.
SONGSOPTOK: This brings us to the issue of
violence against women in different societies, where women and girls are abused
and raped on a regular basis by members of their own families. Do you think
that the taboo about sex is the main reason for such behavior? Would a change
in attitudes actually make a difference to the position of women in such
societies?
OLAJUWON: “No woman of any age, color, and
character ever deserves to be sexually violated or harassed” Sex taboo is not and
should not be the basic reason for violence against women. Women are not slaves
and are not to be taken for granted. I believe it is only an irresponsible man
that will raise his hands against a woman and a mad man that will abuse and
rape a woman. However, I will buy the
idea of change of attitude of an individual towards the position of women in
the society. Women should not be subjected to men in all ramifications. They
are meant to be helpers and never slaves.
SONGSOPTOK: Have media in general and
Internet in particular played a role in either enhancing or diminishing the
taboo about sex? In what way?
OLAJUWON: Yes they have, with the help of
feminist activities that are aimed at sensitizing people on sex education and
the pride of women. However, it is still disappointing that the media are also
the frontier in the wide spread of sexual violence tips.
SONGSOPTOK: Do you think that ultimately sex
is all about power and domination, both for men and women? Why? What is your
personal experience?
OLAJUWON: No, sex is not all about power. It
is meant to satisfy both partners and should take place with active concise of
both.
TIMILEYIN GABRIEL OLAJUWON (TGO) is an Editor, A poet, Peace Advocate, Philanthropist and a
literary critic. He is an international multi-award
winner –Awarded
the World Poetry Ambassador to Nigeria {Canada} 2013, nominated as
Inspirational Poet of the Year by World Friendship Celebration (Pentasi B)
Philippines 2013, won the Write Share Be Read Second International Poetry
Competition with his poem “REMEMBER O’YE GODS”; as one of the Top Five Poets in
category A and was published in First Female online magazine, United Kingdom
2013, placed in the top ten in the Rabindranath Tagore Award – International
English Poetry Competition (India) 2014. awarded the World Poetry Cultural
Youth Peace Ambassador Award 2014, awarded Creative Writers Association of
Nigeria Poetry Literary Award 2014, ranked third in Anchors Bible competition
2014, nominated for El-Hibri
Foundation Peace Education Prize 2015, appointed as Director of World Festival
of Poetry 2015, 2016 Pentasi B universal poet of the year (Ghana), and
appointed as Writers Capital International Foundation Director (India) 2016.
Gabriel is the founder of World Poetry
Peace Zone (A subsidiary of World Poetry Canada and
International) where writers from corners of the world ink to propagate peace
and constructively criticize works of their fellow writers. He is also a member
of international groups and organizations like World Poetry Canada and
International, Splendors of Dawn poetry Foundation, Pentasi B World Friendship
Celebration, Writers Capital International Foundation and many more. Most of Gabriel’s works have
been featured in many international anthologies and journals:
He is the brain behind Muse for World Peace Anthology (An anthology of
contemporary poets propagating peace) and he is a published author with his
first book entitled “Call for Retreat” 2013.
We sincerely thank you for your time and hope
we shall have your continued support.
Aparajita
Sen
(EDITOR)
Songsoptok
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