I go to sleep every night with an assurance
to wake up to a new dawn . My familiar moon sings a lullaby to my weary soul
and puts me to sleep at night. At dawn my sun fills my bed with light and
warmth. The fresh whiff of air nudges me gently to start the day. This is my
universe, from the first day of my existence I have lived in the warm bosom of
this world. The sun, stars, galaxies, milky ways, though far and unknown, are
not completely beyond the periphery of human knowledge. Theories of astronomy,
astrophysics can always come up with measurable distances in light years, reasons
why they glow, why they disappear to human eyes, it can all be explained by
science. Knowledge gives explainable theories and in turn it brings a cozy
comfort of familiarity. My comfort with the known world around me makes me
blind to the possibility of the existence of any other realm beyond the one I
perceive.
What if I do not wake up in this familiar
world tomorrow ? What if I open my eyes and find myself in a new realm? The
realm of the astral world. Will it be a dark endless abyss of oblivion or a
lighted path of awakens? But why must it be either of the two extremes. Must I
burn in hell or suddenly develop two wings like a fairy to keep floating in
space? If my Karma is going to follow me beyond death then a great amount of
managerial task will be required to sort out all the good and bad karma either
in heaven or hell. If I am assured business class luxury post death then I am
ready to turn a saint this minute. The problem is who will give me the promise
and the boarding pass to my final destination. Thus in absence of a true travel
manager I go on living in belief and disbelief about stories of afterlife.
It is rest that I seek once I shut my eyes
after toiling for years on earth. What is Moksha after all, to gain ultimate
freedom? But if I have to keep floating above my old home witnessing everything
like a reality show on TV as a mere spectator, then the floating
as a spirit can be very frustrating. The fun in worldly existence is in
participation! If my flight has a better take off (as a spirit) and I manage to
climb beyond the stratosphere, then will I meet them whom I call my
forefathers. Can I be related to them even after death? If I can recognize my
own people but I have no human feelings then the charm of reunion shall be
totally spoiled. On the other hand, if I am a spirit with all the pain, joy,
anguish of my human form, then dying does not seem half as attractive as
promised.
This and much more crowd in my mind. There
are more questions than answers. On waking up to a new reality much larger than
my comprehension of life and death, how am I supposed to react? Birth, life,
and death, are all familiar situations. Is death the final full stop? The body
turning to ashes, melting, decaying, into the earth is the closure of one
chapter. The thing we call soul, where or how does it vanish? The fear of
unknown grips my consciousness. Through vast cultural differences in this world
there is one common thread that binds all humanity that is to respect the dead.
We light lamps, we pay homage, we pray for the spirits eternal union with the
Divine. Whether the spirits do receive our symbolic gestures, or whether all
the gestures are to quieten our inner chaos is not an easy answer.
If I see a light where there is none, if I
feel the breeze in a closed room, if I see a form not familiar, I shall not
fear. For today I am in my human form, and tomorrow I may be just a spirit. So
why fear my own tomorrow? We all have our own guardian angels within us. Sleep
will come one day which will lead me to the final awakening.
[SANGEETA BRAJABASI]