I waited for you to draw near
my beauty was only veneer
you asked me to love
and I could not
not as I ought
I knew I would bring
unhappiness and I
have turned away from you
because to bring you pain
sears my soul , I am not whole
but I am a hole , empty
without you
I am to broken to hold
what you give , it leaks
through me like a sieve
I cannot hold it
I have lost it and it is gone
So I carry on
would that I could have stayed
unafraid , that my touch
could harm you , to my alarm
and I slipped by you at last
I am your past



I recite your name in      the whispers of the wind
for bonded to my heart          are you until the end
I lifted the chalice      drank deeply of its wine
I felt of its effects the          fullness of divine

Like the chords of piano      and dulcimers delight
your melodies do waft               through every thought at night
a master plays the chords      a violin with strings
plays my heart like a harp          whose music on it rings

Your fingers play me      like the stroke of piano keys
every touch I enjoy             your heart it aims to please
you are a symphony      whose chords have touched my heart
a birth cries transmission            of transformation every part

Songs like an aria               may yet I learn to sing
whose vocals resonate          the inmost of my being
You left no line untouched       no strand is mine alone
made sure you did I knew            would make you me your own

Somewhere I lost myself      I gave it all to you
things I don’t understand         reasons appear askew
I inhale you my breathe      to deepest parts within
need you to embrace me         as close as your own skin

We retire together     speak ‘neath the baleful skies
of every trial in life      and those who live in lies
greet me in the morning      curl around me at night
sing to me of love songs         of futures very bright

The wedding of my heart      tears away my mind
I want to forever      hold you for all of time
Are not your words a bath         that removes the worlds dirt
a balm of medicine      to heal the deepest hurt

Its surpassing sweetness     a palate of good taste
love so intoxicating      no drop will go to waste
the adversary’s here      and tramples the flowers
but you oh my beloved         too freely roam my hours

My life is but a breath      an instrument of song
music tells the stories          of lives and right and wrong
The scent of yesterdays     the pathways of the past
forward now the future         into the ever last

Proverbs 16
24 Gracious words are a honeycomb,
sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.



How I wish to drink the wine of joy with you
feel the brush of fingertips upon my cheek
to spread a picnic feast within the wilderness
what lies within my heart to plainly speak

But raised was I upon a planets prison
and to will of others made was I a slave
with eyes cast to the floor and verbal beating
the road to fear of man did abuse pave

I want to run barefoot         on green grass carpets
and prowl                  the mountain ranges like a cat
wing my way                         upon the trails ridges
and know no violence will me to attack

Twelve times faced I death and yet I'm living
I've escaped intent        and accidents of chance
like those who consider all          unforeseen occurrence
that the unwary can be              caught by circumstance

I've made my way this far         only by reason
four reasons          gave the choice for me to live
I've had no time to consider                      my emotion
nor thought about a need         for love did give

I've given vent to mans neglect and violence
for no different do I find inself my own
when I look at the reflection in the mirror
no change to our past can we atone

All those who consider justice and affliction
the pathways of thought and all her tracks
many millennia's of history have we written
the investigation of the goodness mankind lacks

The ever present war              within our nature
affected by our fight          or flight of reason
the stake to posterity                 is high and costly
far to often we are weak     to logics treason

For all have fallen down       before true glory
not a single one hasn't failed               his own thought
for everyone has placed        for himself standards
and in his own failures                 is he caught

For in Justice , Love and Wisdom there is Power
in the cosmos is ordered laws           that we can see
but not one single human         who is existing
can keep the perfection    of Love flawlessly

So occasionally I will have to ask             for your forgiveness
and hope you love enough           to set me free
for even if I think           I might know better
I have found in all of us            this frailty

I want to tell you I am stronger               when you are near me
I have found in you something       that in myself I lack
I never knew that              getting any closer
would provide the desire            to return  back

Romans 7:7-25



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