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TIMILEYIN GABRIEL OLAJUWON

SONGSOPTOK THE WRITERS BLOG | 10/15/2016 |



SONGSOPTOK: Is the subject of sex taboo in your own personal family and friends circle? Do you talk freely about sex with your partner / children / friends? If no, why? If yes, what exactly do you talk about? Take this as an academic exercise, and do explain.

OLAJUWON: No, sex taboo is not in my circle. We talk freely about sex and sex related issues since we believe sex education is the foundation to a moral life as the society and religion ethics proposed. From a sociology standpoint, why unwanted pregnancy, sexual harassment and rape are rampant in the society is due to lack of sex education. As related to my circle, we deemed it wise to educate our children, family members and colleagues about the pros and cons, benefits and effects of sex.


SONGSOPTOK: In the society you live in, is the subject of sex a taboo? If yes, how do you explain it? Is it because of the religion that is practiced in your country? Or is because of your culture, or even the beliefs of the political parties in power?

OLAJUWON:  The subject of sex as a taboo is only rampant in some areas of the society and this is due to the religion practiced, the culture of the society and the traditional mental belief of an individual or a group of individuals.


SONGSOPTOK: Do you think that the society today is more permissive compared to the time you were growing up? Do you think it is a good thing? Please let us have your detailed opinion.

OLAJUWON:   Yes, it is more permissive compared to my growing up time and it is really a good thing.


SONGSOPTOK: Do you think that a permissive society is dangerous for teenagers, both girls and boys? Or is it on the contrary a good thing since it demystifies sexual acts and makes them look at it as something mundane and normal? Is that a good or a bad thing?

OLAJUWON:  Permissive society is not dangerous for the teenagers both girls and boys but it is so disappointing with the way it has been taken for granted as some young ones misuse their basic societal freedom. This to me is related to the socialization and civilization processes which had great negative effects on them.


SONGSOPTOK: History tells us that sex was not taboo in ancient societies. What, in your opinion, is the genesis of this attitude? Do you think that the rise of patriarchal societies all over the world is the main reason, where man gradually started looking upon the woman as his own property? Or is it mainly religious, where woman was treated as the root of all evils?

OLAJUWON:  In the ancient time, there was a standard moral ethic, virginity was the pride of a woman and her family; every woman believed that for her to have been defiled before she knew her man was a shame upon her and her family, so she would keep herself. Also, since the society was not permissive, a man would not know her wife until the night of their wedding; an intermediary always serves in between. However, one cannot say it is the rise of patriarchal societies in the world that is the main reason for sex taboo. It can be linked to partly the doctrines of some religious setups and as society develops, standard moral ethics are devalued; virginity for some ladies has been the story of the past, sex has been seen as mundane and normal way of life.


SONGSOPTOK: Do you believe sexual attitudes and acts to be normal like all other bodily functions or do you think that there is a special significance to sexual acts? In other words, do sexual acts need to be couched in special sentiments and sanctified by the institution of marriage? What is your own experience? What is the experience of people close to you?

OLAJUWON:  Medically it is normal but still it is not “food”. Since society differs, Marriage institution should be able to set pattern for sex activities and acts and should be sanctified by the same institution. Base on the experience in my sphere cum religion pattern, sex is basically recognize to occur among two partners who are legally married but with civilization and urbanization, sexual activities and acts have gone viral and have become so ridiculous with no specific age .


SONGSOPTOK: In your opinion, does the taboo about sex give rise to repressive societies where men and women feel obliged to curb their natural instincts and take recourse to abuse, rape or incest?

OLAJUWON:   No; because, I do not believe sex taboo should be the primary prerequisite to curbing people’s natural instincts and taken recourse to abuse, rape or incent. My perspective about this is to improve activities on sex education, orientation and liberation. Thus, severe punishment also should be given to anyone caught in sexual harassment or rape. 


SONGSOPTOK: This brings us to the issue of violence against women in different societies, where women and girls are abused and raped on a regular basis by members of their own families. Do you think that the taboo about sex is the main reason for such behavior? Would a change in attitudes actually make a difference to the position of women in such societies?

OLAJUWON:  “No woman of any age, color, and character ever deserves to be sexually violated or harassed” Sex taboo is not and should not be the basic reason for violence against women. Women are not slaves and are not to be taken for granted. I believe it is only an irresponsible man that will raise his hands against a woman and a mad man that will abuse and rape a woman.  However, I will buy the idea of change of attitude of an individual towards the position of women in the society. Women should not be subjected to men in all ramifications. They are meant to be helpers and never slaves.


SONGSOPTOK: Have media in general and Internet in particular played a role in either enhancing or diminishing the taboo about sex? In what way?

OLAJUWON:  Yes they have, with the help of feminist activities that are aimed at sensitizing people on sex education and the pride of women. However, it is still disappointing that the media are also the frontier in the wide spread of sexual violence tips.


SONGSOPTOK: Do you think that ultimately sex is all about power and domination, both for men and women? Why? What is your personal experience?

OLAJUWON:  No, sex is not all about power. It is meant to satisfy both partners and should take place with active concise of both.

TIMILEYIN GABRIEL OLAJUWON (TGO) is an Editor, A poet, Peace Advocate, Philanthropist and a literary critic. He is an international multi-award winner –Awarded the World Poetry Ambassador to Nigeria {Canada} 2013, nominated as Inspirational Poet of the Year by World Friendship Celebration (Pentasi B) Philippines 2013, won the Write Share Be Read Second International Poetry Competition with his poem “REMEMBER O’YE GODS”; as one of the Top Five Poets in category A and was published in First Female online magazine, United Kingdom 2013, placed in the top ten in the Rabindranath Tagore Award – International English Poetry Competition (India) 2014. awarded the World Poetry Cultural Youth Peace Ambassador Award 2014, awarded Creative Writers Association of Nigeria Poetry Literary Award 2014, ranked third in Anchors Bible competition 2014, nominated for El-Hibri Foundation Peace Education Prize 2015, appointed as Director of World Festival of Poetry 2015, 2016 Pentasi B universal poet of the year (Ghana), and appointed as Writers Capital International Foundation Director (India) 2016.

Gabriel is the founder of World Poetry Peace Zone (A subsidiary of World Poetry Canada and International) where writers from corners of the world ink to propagate peace and constructively criticize works of their fellow writers. He is also a member of international groups and organizations like World Poetry Canada and International, Splendors of Dawn poetry Foundation, Pentasi B World Friendship Celebration, Writers Capital International Foundation and many more. Most of Gabriel’s works have been featured in many international anthologies and journals: He is the brain behind Muse for World Peace Anthology (An anthology of contemporary poets propagating peace) and he is a published author with his first book entitled “Call for Retreat” 2013.


                                                                       


We sincerely thank you for your time and hope we shall have your continued support.
Aparajita Sen
(EDITOR)

 Songsoptok

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