EGO A TOOL TO NEGOTIATE
AND COMMUNICATE
I am 64 years old,
worked in a PSU steel company having 36 years of steel marketing experience,
meeting thousands of customers throughout India where ever I was posted and
virtually contacted so many different kinds of people with different social
economical environment with distinctly different viability, food cultural habit.
Today in changing time and pressure people are prone to fall on one of the most debated psychological fact called EGO. And how this EGO makes a great change in mind of people has never been analysed. At present I am settled in Ahmedabad, Gujarat state of India, the land of management school, land of most vibrant people and business atmosphere in India, land of investment. Total 75% of investments in stock market coming from Gujarat Roads in Gujarat are well connected with every village where you can commute up to 400 km within 5 hrs and do your business and can come back the same day without any trouble. Land of ancient Harappa civilization (5000 years old), land of 65 million years old fossil of Dionossurous available at a village called Raoli 90 Km from Ahmedabad. My writing on such a complex subject EGO is totally based on my 36 years of experience of handling different kind of people and so many times I tried to attempt to write on such complex word EGO but every time I tried and every time I failed on such a Unique word EGO till suddenly my knowledge of Management studies sometimes back in 1981 had helped me to write something new kind of things perhaps during 90’s. A new kind of formula I named it Formula on EGO.
What I am writing is
purely from my personal experience. The subject is purely one of the marketing
tools and if the same helps you dealing people management then I will be the happiest
person to share an unique knowledge with you. Actually I made this formula
during 1987-88 for using myself only except sharing of my mathematical formula
to few seminars I attended. I had seen that my formula was not accepted by the
elite marketing professionals and the B Management school in India and abroad
who genuinely depend on the bookish knowledge of EGO mentioned in communication
and negotiation subject . Moreover my formula was little bit lengthy initially
which might be a constrained for anybody to accept. Then after 2 years I
made it simple formula for all to understand to judge a person
which level of EGO posses and believe me I only started practicing the formula
along with some of my colleagues. Later my friends discarded the same saying
that it’s not required at all for them as they are more success full than me in
terms of being more successful Marketing person. Like that 5 years passed
and the economic liberalization came to India in 1991 initiated by Dr Manmohan
Singh the then Finance Minister of India under Late PM of India P.V.Narsimha
Rao. Immediately after 1991 liberalization The competitions amongst companies
including Govt and Pvt sectors increased and suddenly Companies felt the hit of
competition because Indian economy clearly coming out control economy to market
economy which makes all the Managers under control economy made the life harder.
Even products like monopoly steels were harder to sell in the market due to
competitions from import of steels to Indian steels. And the so called Egoistic
nature of the managers felt it harder to understand the liberalization. As a
result my friends (who was comfortable and egoistic , successful marketing personnel in a controlled economy existed
at that time in India) who discarded my formula became slowly and steadily
redundant and one day I find they either left the company or some of my friend
shifted to other less important department but it was not the case to me as
practicing of EGO formula paid me heavily and my importance to my company
soared and slowly and steadily I became a most important marketing personal in
my company till my retirement in 2005. (You should understand the marketing in
control economy and marketing in liberalized economy is far more different) .Now
imagine there was no marketing activities in India till 1991 by any companies
including few Private Companies existed during control economy period. After
1991 last 15 years endless Private Companies have spurred. Marketing activities
flourished. Lots of Business schools came up. Now India is the business
destination hub in the world. Imagine a small but big policy took during
1991 by Manmohan Singh and Late P.V. Narsimha Rao changed the entire business
scenario of India within 15 years) Since then I could not pass my expertise to
anybody and kept it within myself only. Suddenly I found and attended a seminar
on "How to develop Managing skills and I made an lecture on my formula
there and believe me it was just a Tsunami of huge people interacted with my
formula. and I have got so many positive response of my pet subject EGO that I
could not believe of so much response. So I feel to share my secrets to
all who can be benefited. While analyzing my success as a marketing personal
from 1987 when I conceived the idea, I found that this was not actually
required from 1987 to 1992 as Indian economy was in control situation and
actual efforts in terms of my sophisticated system was not required, but
without knowing the implications, I continued with my idea as a result I found
this system is very effective where more competitions are there. So during
liberalized market with more competitions, I found EGO is the main engine of
marketing where you need to communicate and negotiate several times with your
endless different nature customers. I am sure if you can calculate properly of
a customer's profile with my formula; you will be successful to negotiate with
any tough customers.
I made it very simple
and easily understandable formula after reducing my long one during 94-96.
It is very common
subject for any Management studies on EGO being three types which I think most
of the people studying Management courses knows.. Parent Ego (A) , Adult Ego
(B), and child Ego (C). When you negotiate or communicate to some persons you
always come across above 3 types of Egos. I don’t want to give details about
EGOs as most of the persons know who have studied MBAs and that was the reason
initially I made very complicated long formula. After retirement from my
service I felt this formula can be made simple and can be used by anybody and
also can be used in any situation apart from marketing and a wonderful tool to
communicate and negotiate.
Now there are various situations.
1. You have gone to a
customer as a seller--Customer is very choosy, price conscious and almost
stubborn not to negotiate with you (A - EGO), You have entered to customer to
sell a good products with lot of enthuse and thorough knowledge of the products,
price, competitions etc. With lot of expectations ( C-EGO ). One thing you should
remember while negotiation you always hit the opponent when he or she is not
accepting your idea. A small example .When you buy a shirt from a street seller
you and the seller does lot of bargaining. When you ask seller about the price
you are in C-EGO position and the seller is in A-EGO position .Then you have to
come out from C position to B position. Then you ask to reduce it to Rs 25 /-
from Rs70/- which the seller originally told to you (this is called hit back system).When
the seller got hit, he immediately comedown to B-EGO position (willing to
negotiate). He again hit back to you by reducing only Rs 15/-only as his actual
selling price is Rs 50/- and no way he cannot go down below Rs 50. You as a
buyer is now in A-EGO stage because you have won to bring that seller to B
position. So you will not budge and sticking to your reduction of Rs 25 firmly.
Now seller come up to A position again (hit back) saying that he will not
reduce. Now two situation either you buy
or not to buy # Situation 1= If you want to buy then you have to accept
his price by coming to your Ego position to B # Situation 2 =If you want
further reduction of price then you have to hit him by remaining in A position.
Seller wants to sell the shirt now to Rs 50 and he has accepted your price
coming in B position. Now you have to come down to B position if at all you
want that shirt at Rs 20 reduction only instead of Rs 25 (A position) # Situation
3 =Both are in A position, so deal could not materialize.
Now always give a number
to any situation mathematically
On 10 point scale You
have given A as 9 ,B as 7 ,C as 8 .then add all the numbers and divide by
3, it become A + B + C =24 and 24 is divided by 3 is finally 8 (remember 8 to
10 in A EGO is very rare unless that person is highly orthodox, rigid quality, 5
to 7 is the level of B EGO ,and 1 to 3 is again high level of C EGO which
is rare unless the person is totally a child behaviour and similarly stubborn. So
while negotiation, judge properly and judiciously. Nobody can teach this
situation. One can achieve by continuously practicing the system. Now if buyer
is say 9 and seller ego is 7 at the time of negotiations and communications
then buyer will win and if seller is 8 and buyer is 6 then seller will win to
finalize the deal...
The above is a very
complicated thing and require one's commitment and honesty to practice on
regular basis to master the formula which looks easy but not that much easy as
you all may think.
Remember all people have
3 levels of EGOs and you have to find out what level of EGO the person posses
at the time of negotiations or communication including your level of
EGO also. This can be learned when you try to judge a person by applying
above formula and it is a continuous process. Initially try to note the process
in a diary or scrap paper. Supposing in a similar situation you are negotiating
certain things with a certain person and supposing you have won /failed /
concluded the deal. You note down all the details in a paper including name of
the person and yourself. Supposing you have sent somebody to negotiate with
somebody. You always write down the name, details of discussion and the level
of EGOs. If you regularly do this practice then after sometimes you need not
write all the details and slowly and steadily one day you will be an expert on
the field. It will take lot of time perhaps 2 to 3 years and I bet once you are
master then you will find your importance to anywhere in any field where
negotiations and communications are required and I find EGO is the main and
most important thing in anybody’s life, any companies prosperity/failures of an
individual’s /Companies /Units. EGO is completely a mind game which everyone needs
to understand properly.
And finally I believe if
any one master the art of understanding EGO then, I am sure he or she will be
master of communications and negotiations and any one benefited with this
theory will be a great joy to me.
[ASIM BORAL]
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