SONGSOPTOK: MICHAEL MILLER

THE FORGE

I remember the beach sand and swing

when you and mother were still something

I remember the ducks in the lake

you held my hand watching their wake

I remember the sheep dogs when the day was through

and the mornings grass all covered with dew

I remember the dead man and blood on the floor

my hand in my mothers as she went for the door

I remember the stairs I thought I’d fall through

and the building where she was hidden from you

she tried drowning me in the bath and the tub

her hands on my throat on the dining room rug

the pain of the walls where my body flew

the floor of the closet when she was through

I remember you entering the door

as you picked up my body from off the floor

the words were so ugly I’ve forgotten them now

but things haven’t changed much anyhow

I remember the willows and switches not few

a home not mine and the children were new

a string of families never seeming to end

the abuse and the beatings I’m not on the mend

I remember the rage and the red flushed face

what did I do to fall from your grace

I remember the fear when I tried to hide

the man and the 2by4 when it hit my side

the bruise and welts with no one to care

my mother and father aren’t even there

I remember the family that took me in

they had no daughter just two young men

one boy was loving the other was slime

but the parents protected me most of the time

I was safe for awhile with nightmares not few

and some of my demons she helped to slew

I remember you taking me home at last

you had remarried some six months past

I remember the woman was cruel and mean

she remained that way till I was sixteen

At fifteen I had been already raped twice

the drugs and pills and the wrist yet to slice

I remember the police to the hospital sped

the straight jacket and thorazine I should have been dead

I remember the airplane that sent me away

with my half brothers mother I was to stay

my neck with a forearm pinned to the wall

my half brothers brother screaming he will have all

I remember the screaming as I flew down the stairs

his violence had caught me totally unawares

the pain as he smashed me on the walls of the hall

the kicks in the ribs after my fall

the nine months I walked in a state of fear

how I passed my classes is very unclear

I remember the man when I hitched into town

the car was a sedan of dirty brown

the doors had no handles no way to get out

he pulled out a knife and proceeded to shout

how he would cut me and make me bleed

if I didn’t fill some sort of need

how I grabbed the wheel for steering the car

when he slammed on the brakes down the road not far

when he slid out the door by the side of the road

it seemed to me that all time had slowed

he released me with curses not language unknown

from the cage of his car this bird had flown

I remember the man preaching justice and truth

but to find answers one must become sleuth

I remember the marriage and I made him swear

that to hit or harm me he must never dare

I remember the baby with curls of gold

by seventeen to marriage my father me sold

I remember the lapses of time I had lost

the forge of my youth and the price it had cost

the thread that kept me alive was so thin

in my mind it was always me against him

I remember the children that helped keep me sane

with some sort of focus with the man I had lain

I remember the striving for some sort of truth

what kind of a mother my children had in their youth

I remember it all so plain and clear

that violence from men will always be near

I swore at sixteen no child to have

if you couldn’t play safely with joy and a laugh

forgive me my children for bringing you here

the reasons I do things are sometimes not clear

My parents are gone and I do not mourn

but only for the life I was never shown

I did try to spare you the same kind of fate

I hoped that my love would be never to late

I had no control of the time or the chance

that injustice would look upon you with his glance

I raise my eyes to the heavens and vent to his name

to save all the children who are yet put thru shame

In a blast furnace my life has been forged

the tool of the hammer has formed my discourse

in molten metal I have been shaped

the tool of another I have not escaped

what of the purpose he hopes to hew

a piece of equipment all shiny and new

I remember my maker and the state of his grace

the road laid before me and the words of his face

the view of my nature he seeks to tame

with so many others who walk in the flame

in wails united to pull heaven down

and with its brightness scour the ground

his promise to do so has not yet passed

when all of mankind will feel his blast

the call has gone forth the meaning is clear

to give an accounting is so very near

those who think themselves high shall be made low

the dust of the earth their destined to know

the one that I follow has carved out the path

his star has shown brightly beneath thorn and the lash

I reach my arm forth to take hold his hand

to walk among humans woman and man

he paints a clear future for those of us all

a paradise lost to man in his fall

C Michael Miller via Duboff Law Group LLC]

PAINTING LIFE

You have led me beside the azure seas
to see the crimson coral of the fallen leaves
so like the rainbows that exist within our kin
the colors that lay upon our souls within

There drifts our souls in the shades and hue
where we slip the streams of the colors blue
or light their soul in softest shades of yellow
when in company as delighted companions fellow

Or quietly lay in shells still and tinged of pale grey
like the clouds that hang within the low of day
or to climb the hills the foliage with its glistening sheen
are painted trees and meadows in the depths of green

Here in life the blooms that every spectrum see
and offered us its view the veneer of eternity
and not so transparent the crystals of our glass
and our lives the shadows of pigments cast

The cosmetic gloss that we can wear like makeup
that dyes the actions which our souls we take up
some like varnish are just cover for what is dull
like the iron and the steel that contains our hull

But the tints that wash and stain our soil
can be the colors swirling within the gleams of oil
where they run together as the eddy’s in the water
there each soul its colors is contained a single star

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INSTRUMENTS OF LOVE

I recite your name in the whispers of the wind
for bonded to my heart are you until the end
I lifted the chalice drank deeply of its wine
I felt of its effects the fullness of divine

Like the chords of piano and dulcimers delight
your melodies do waft through every thought at night
a master plays the chords a violin with strings
plays my heart like a harp whose music on it rings

Your fingers play me like the stroke of piano keys
every touch I enjoy your heart it aims to please
you are a symphony whose chords have touched my heart
a birth cries transmission of transformation every part

Songs like an aria may yet I learn to sing
whose vocals resonate the inmost of my being
You left no line untouched no strand is mine alone
made sure you did I knew would make you me your own

Somewhere I lost myself I gave it all to you
things I don’t understand reasons appear askew
I inhale you my breathe to deepest parts within
need you to embrace me as close as your own skin

We retire together speak ‘neath the baleful skies
of every trial in life and those who live in lies
greet me in the morning curl around me at night
sing to me of love songs of futures very bright

The wedding of my heart tears away my mind
I want to forever hold you for all of time
Are not your words a bath that removes the worlds dirt
a balm of medicine to heal the deepest hurt

Its surpassing sweetness a palate of good taste
love so intoxicating no drop will go to waste
the adversary’s here and tramples the flowers
but you oh my beloved too freely roam my hours

My life is but a breath an instrument of song
music tells the stories of lives and right and wrong
The scent of yesterdays the pathways of the past
forward now the future into the ever last

Proverbs 16
24 Gracious words are a honeycomb,
sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.