MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE, BOTH VERY
COLOURFUL AND SENSITIVE WORDS. But I have serious doubts at the back
of my mind about the clarity of knowledge about these terms in the minds of the
world population. Marriage is an institution that
admits men and women to family life. Edward Westermarck defined marriage as the
more or less durable connection between male and female lasting beyond the mere
act of propagation till after the birth of offspring. Lowie defined it as a
relatively permanent bond between permissible mates. Malinowski defined
marriage as a contract for the production and maintenance of children.
According to Lundberg Marriage consists of the rules and regulations that
define the rights, duties and privileges of husband and wife with respect to
each other. According to Horton and Hunt marriage is the approved social
pattern whereby two or more persons establish a family. According to Anderson
and Parker marriage are the sanctioning by a society of a durable bond between
one or more males and one or more females established to permit sexual
intercourse for the implied purpose of parenthood. According to John Levy and
Ruth Monroe people get married because of the feeling that being in a family is
the only proper indeed the only possible way to live. People do not marry
because it is their social duty to perpetuate the institution of family or
because the scriptures recommend matrimony but because they lived in a family
as children and cannot get over the feeling that being in a family is the only
proper way to live in society.
Types of
Marriages
Marriages are of different types
across the world. Types of weddings are not to be confused with types of
marriages, as weddings can of be of different types as per the community even
if the type of marriage is Monogamous. Forms of marriage are also culturally
driven and different types of marriages in the world are prevelant among
varient societies. The types of marriages in sociology are as listed and
explained below.
POLYGYNY
It is a form of marriage in which one
man marries more than one woman at a given time. It is of two types --- Sororal
polygyny and non sororal polygyny
SORORAL
POLYGYNY
It is a type of marriage in which the
wives are invariably the sisters. It is often called sororate.
NON-SORORAL
POLYGYNY
It is a type of marriage in which the
wives are not related as sisters.
POLYANDRY
It is the marriage of one woman with
more than one man. It is less common than polygyny. It is of two types----
Fraternal Polyandry and non fraternal polyandry.
FRATERNAL
POLYANDRY
When several brothers share the same
wife the practice can be called alelphic or fraternal polyandry. This practice
of being mate, actual or potential to one's husband's brothers is called
levirate. It is prevalent among Todas.
NON -
FRATERNAL POLYANDRY
In this type the husband need not
have any close relationship prior to the marriage. The wife goes to spend some
time with each husband. So long as a woman lives with one of her husbands; the
others have no claim over her.
MONOGAMY
It is a form of marriage in which one
man marries one woman .It is the most common and acceptable form of marriage.
SERIAL
MONOGAMY
In many societies individuals are
permitted to marry again often on the death of the first spouse or after
divorce but they cannot have more than one spouse at one and the same time.
STRAIGHT
MONOGAMY:
In this remarriage is not allowed.
Group
Marriage:
It means the marriage of two or more
women with two or more men. Here the husbands are common husbands and wives are
common wives. Children are regarded as the children of the entire group as a
whole.
Types of marriages permissible to the
society may vary.Here are a few examples:
No society gives absolute freedom to
its members to select their partners. Endogamy and exogamy are the two main
rules that condition marital choice.
ENDOGAMY:
It is a rule of marriage in which the
life-partners are to be selected within the group. It is marriage within the
group and the group may be caste, class, tribe, race, village, religious group
etc.We have caste endogamy, class endogamy, sub caste endogamy, race endogamy
and tribal endogamy etc.In caste endogamy marriage has to take place within the
caste. Brahmin has to marry a Brahmin. In sub caste endogamy it is limited to
the sub caste groups.
EXOGAMY:
It is a rule of marriage in which an
individual has to marry outside his own group. It prohibits marrying within the
group. The so-called blood relatives shall neither have marital connections nor
sexual contacts among themselves.
Forms of
exogamy:
GOTRA EXOGAMY: The
Hindu practice of one marrying outside one's own gotra.
PRAVARA
EXOGAMY: Those who belong to the same pravara cannot marry among
themselves.
VILLAGE
EXOGAMY: Many Indian tribes like Naga,Garo,Munda etc have the practice
of marrying outside their village.
PINDA EXOGAMY: Those
who belong to the same panda or sapinda( common parentage) cannot marry within
themselves.
ISOGAMY: It is
the marriage between two equals (status)
ANISOGAMY: It is
an asymmetric marriage alliance between two individuals belonging to different
social statuses. It is of two forms - Hypergamy and Hypogamy.
HYPERGAMY: It is
the marriage of a woman with a man of higher Varna or superior caste or family.
HYPOGAMY: It is
the marriage of high caste man with a low caste woman.
ORTHOGAMY: It is
the marriage between selected groups.
CEROGAMY: It is
two or more men get married to two or more women.
ANULOMA
MARRIAGE: It is a marriage under which a man can marry from his own caste
or from those below, but a woman can marry only in her caste or above.
PRATILOMA MARRIAGE: It is
a marriage of a woman to a man from a lower caste which is not permitted. For this purpose the urban
families should be placed in a broad social context. The urban families are to
be distinguished through the mode of earning a livelihood and sources of
income, structure of authority, urban social milieu and social ecology and the
emerging value patterns.
The socio-ecological factors like the
settlement patterns, cultural environments of the urban migrants and
associations to various occupational, political, ideological, cultural,
economic groups influence and reorient the style and pattern of urban families.
The urban centers are melting pots of traditional and modern values.
Individualism is growing at a significant speed in the urban areas.
Individualism is against the spirit of the joint family and questions the
established authority of the patriarchal set up.
In the context of rapid technological
transformation, economic development and social change the pattern of family
living has been diverse in urban India. Life is complex both in the rural and
in the urban areas .In the urban areas and even in the rural areas many couples
are in gainful employment. They depend on others for childcare. With the
structural break down of the joint family they face lot of difficulties in
raising their children. For employment many rural men come out of the village
leaving behind their wives and children.
ON THE
OTHER HAND BY DIVORCE , WE MEAN :
A judicial declaration dissolving a
marriage in whole or in part, especially one that releases the marriage
partners from all matrimonial obligations. Or any formal separation of husband and
wife according to established custom. However, if you want my personal
opinion, I would follow the ancient intellectual authors of India. They defined
and classified any union amon opposite gender as marriage. Be it Gandharva,
where a couple fall in love at first sight and made love without caring about
the society's consent like shakuntala and dushmanta, or caveman marriage,
Rakhsasa, where a rogue stoneman carried off an unconscious woman after hitting
her on the head,(symbolized by the vermilion sindur) and put iron shackles on
her wrist to prevent her escape, then gradually made her pregnant and tame
enough to look after his household chores. Between these two extremes any
scenario where two persons of opposite genders decide to have a sexual
relationship is a marriage. Whether any ritual is performed or not is
absolutely immaterial. On the other hand divorce is more
complicated. It is a legal , material process of separation.
We romanticize the concept of
marriage a lot, especially during childhood and early youth. Only the state of
actual marriage succeeds in bringing disillusion. Then only, humans realise how
much hard work and material tedious routine marriage means. Previously, there
was no legal escape from the drudgery, bitterness, petty mean monetary
bargaining that daily married life contains. Romantic hearts broke, shattered
into painful pieces, tried to find solace in homosexual , or heterosexual
affairs both within and outside the family.
Now that divorce is legalised,
lovers, especially the fiercely passionate couples are the earliest divorced
lot. They hurt maximum to find the absence of romance in married life. Then comes the accounts of
exploitation. Each partner tries to get maximum benefit from the process. When
one half continuously feels aggrieved, they revolt. The repercussions are wide, and
effects all the stratas of the society. The parents, relatives, and especially
the children.
A married couple symbolizes a cosy
nest, a happy home. A separation creates a pang of sorrow, pain of broken
dreams, a breach of security all around. But still, hearts break, partners
start finding happiness in humans outside their couple -dom, domestic violence
either verbal, mental or physical creeps in, and a marriage decomposes. It is
unhealthy to retain such a relationship, as like gangrenous tissue it spreads
toxic waves all around. The partners then, are much better off to breath
independently. Better be free than in love.
Let us love only if we can love
freely.
[SONALI PUPU BMUKHERJEE]
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