IULIA GHERGHEI.

      THE STORY OF MY BIRTH

‘What do you want?!! Let me be!!! I will drink only one beer, promise!!!!’

‘Are you nuts? Do you intend to kill that child? Even in the last minute, you won’t behave as a pregnant woman should?!!! What kind of mom you will be?!!’

‘Let me be!!! I was and still am your mom too, as I recall it!!! What are you talking about there, you, devilish child.....’

‘You’ll ruin this child too, that is what I am saying... And I kind of feel that his father will run away eating dirt, too!!!’

‘Go away, go!! Look who is teaching me morals!!! Let me enjoy my beer right now!!!’

                                                            ***

It is Fall and it is evening. We are on a patio. It is not very cold and it smells of rotten leaves, so typical for Fall. At one table, the same woman bellow, in her early stages of pregnancy, together with her husband are enjoying themselves. They look pretty and relaxed! Who does not know them, would say they are quite content, happy even! The bottles under their table would witness that their state is alcohol induced only...

‘Can you imagine?! Who was lecturing me on parenthood?!! A thirteen years old boy?!!! Hmmm...’

‘Dear, you must admit, he was right at some point!! So much beer can’t be right for the baby!!!’

‘But I am always thirsty, and beer goes well for lactation, they say! Hear, the fiddlers are coming!!! Oh, how I love to dance!!! I haven’t dance for so long... Grisa, my dear, I am happy today, you make me so happy!!! The women is leaving the table dancing through the tables in everybody’s admiration. It was quite a view, dressed in her short pregnant woman’s dress, spinning like a balloon, a gracious one yet...

                                                            ***

A few hours later, from their flat, bursts of fury, curses and crying were heard:

‘Do you want to leave me, me...., beast?!? As if I am the first pregnant woman you abandon.... You make me laugh my heart out, provincial scoundrel, that you are!! You shit your pans, when you have to accept responsibilities...  even in your forties!!!.... Shame, shame on you!!!’

‘Shut up, drunken bitch! You’ll wake up the entire neighbourhood!!!! Do you want me to yell out about your  bitching days?!!’

‘Go ahead!!! It doesn’t matter, shit poet that you are!!!!God knows, I was faithful to you and I bear your child in my belly.....’

‘If it is mine, indeed’

You, ordinary beast, make me puke!!!’

 Noises of broken glass and doors slammed are heard and soon, Grisa is exiting the building followed by a German Sheppard dog.

                                                            ***

Same apartment, a few moments later. She is crying still, biting her pillow. Suddenly she stands up and hurries to the fridge, takes a beer, feverishly, opens it and takes a huge sip. You can almost feel her thrill of pleasure. She is feeling good now, relieved, even. Turns on the pick up and listens to her favourite Tchaikovsky ballet. Her sweet revelry is broken by the door bell. She is calm now sliding towards the door in ballet steps:

‘Who is there?’

‘Maria’

‘Is that really you? Oh, so glad to see you!!! I have missed you all so much!!! Tell me all about the company, what are the premiers, are you going on tour this year??? Tell me, tell me quick!!’

‘Wait! Take me easy! First thing, first!!! Tell me about you, about pregnancy!! You are glowing!!! It fits you perfectly!!’

‘Yeah!! I am very happy! Do you want a beer?’

‘ Just a half of glass, you know, I can’t dance with a belly full of beer!’

‘Tell me, who replaced me in the company?’

‘You don’t know her! She was brought from Timisoara, someone’s big shot mistress...’

‘I wouldn’t be surprised if they would leave me out next season...’

‘My dear, you have other worries now.... Think about the new born!!! What names have you chosen?’

‘If we’ll have a girl, Ana and if it is a boy, John’

‘Niceee!!! And, Grisa, did he get used with the idea of being a father?’

‘Oh, hell no!!! He would go right now if he would not care too much about people’s gossip!!! An act like this would ruin his image completely! After I deliver the baby, only then, he will vanish for sure, I am telling you!!!’

‘No, no!!! How will you manage?!’

‘I don’t know and I really don’t want to think about it!! Would you care for another beer?’, says the pregnant woman, filling her glass with the fifth beer on that day

‘No, thank you! I should really go now!!!’

‘Oh, OK!!! I am kind of sleepy myself! Would you close the door after you, please!!! Thank you, you are a sweetheart!! Bye, see you soon!!!’

‘See you!!! Bye!’

                                                            ***

It is late, past midnight. Someone is trying to open the door and eventually succeeds, filling the night with curses due to a threshold stumble:

‘You’ve return?!!!’

‘I’ve return!’

‘Have you eaten?’

‘Yes, I have!’

‘Have you brought me something?

‘No, I didn’t!’

‘So typical of you!!’

‘Do you want another fight?’

‘No, necessarily! But I am very hungry, beer doesn’t put hunger on hold, you know!! Move away, I have to go to the bathroom’

‘I am going to bed!’

‘Sure you do! What else!’

                                                            ***

A few months later, the same characters. It is a heavy winter now in Bucharest. We are in the same restaurant where, on the patio, our guys seemed the happiest couple on Earth. As before, the bottles are aligned under the table and the gypsy music is making everybody cheerful.

‘I hope you won’t start dancing again.... At least that brain you still have not to dance in the seventh month of pregnancy?!’

‘You‘re stupid and you bore me to death!!! Guys, come sing to our table!!’

She climbs over the table leaning over someone's shoulder, while the others, in a hurry are emptying the table. The show is going to start! Indeed it does, she is full of grace, though pregnant, a sad fog is covering her eyes that goes so well with the  gypsy song, like a mourning, like an anticipation... for a brief moment, everybody knows what is going to happen...

‘Oh, oh, It hurts, badly..... I am having a baby right now.... Call ambulance!!!! Noww!’

Confusion, panic..... finally, someone gets her down from the table.

An angry voice is heard in the back while she is transported to the ambulance:

‘I told you so!!! I told you!!!! She was in too much bigger pain to even consider to answer...

They put her into the ambulance. As the ambulance’s doors closed, it started snowing and everybody kind of relaxed, they returned quietly to the tables, only in the back, at the fiddlers’ place, someone was whispering. Soon, the smoke wrapped the entire room and the prior event was almost forgotten.

                                                            ***

It is morning, a snowy February morning! The town is floating in a snow balloon. It is warm enough for the snow to melt when it touches the ground and to form a muddy slush. After all, spring is one week away!!! On the street, one single man is fighting with the watery snowdrifts, he wants to announce everybody the good news:

‘He has a daughter!!! Beautiful and healthy, despite of  all that had happened... long, long time ago, cause now, between the dancing on the table moment and this white morning, an eternity seems to have spread its feathers and the snow cooled all his fears away... He has now the certainty that they will never argue again: They have a daughter!!! They called her Lia. He keeps repeating her name, Lia, Lia Lia, not for a moment to forget it and for that reason, his daughter to evaporates in thin air... No, he is not drank, he is ecstatic!!

He arrives to the restaurant where he expects everybody to have waited  for him to return with the news, nobody here, not one friend, only the cleaning women are sweeping the floors. That silence enhanced by the brooms’ sweep froze his heart with a bad feeling. He left without sharing the great news, shuffling his feet through the slush, almost asleep.