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AGATHE HAUNSCHILD

SONGSOPTOK THE WRITERS BLOG | 7/15/2015 |



Songsoptok: ‘Marriage is a lifelong symphony with one central theme but the music is played in anew everyday’ – this is a rough translation of a line from a short story by Rabindranath Tagore. Do you feel that this comment, made in a period dominated by Victorian romanticism, is true today?

AGATHE: Oh yes, I think so. Never change the things of love. Even the 2000years old stories from the old Greeks is as true as they were in the time, when they are written.


Songsoptok: What, in your opinion, is the real chemistry of an intimate relationship? Do you think that the social institution of marriage is based on that chemistry?

AGATHE: Very hard to say. There plays chemistry in the intimate relationship. But I can not say, if it is real chemistry nowadays for the institution of marriage.


Songsoptok:  What according to you are the main factors for keeping marital relationship alive and healthy?

AGATHE: Tow thing, in my opinions, are importuned for keep alive and healthy a marital relationship: 1. To be all the time in thought – exchange, dialog
2. Never forget the humor!
  

Songsoptok: Very often we see that a happy marital relationship results when one of the partners surrender to the other’s ego. Do you think this is how it should be? Especially since it is most often the woman that surrenders to the man, or more generally to the patriarchal system?

AGATHE: this thought sounds for me very old-fashioned. For me it seems to be better, when each the other care and try to understand.


Songsoptok: Tolstoi said in his story THE KREUTZER SONATA “... a marriage without love is no marriage at all, that only love sanctifies marriage, and that the only true marriage is that sanctified by love”. We all agree that this is how it should be. That there should not be a tragic end to any marriage. What is the reason then for the increasing number of divorces in all societies?

AGATHE: Too much experiences and no passion and understand. Also the most men and women doe not to take the responsibility.


Songsoptok: By the word ‘marriage’ we generally think of a well defined relationship built on the tenet of spending the entire life together. Do you think that this in itself creates a type of suffocation which leads to break-ups and divorces?
AGATHE: No, I doe not think so, there are so much different possibilities. Yes ,I agree with you.


Songsoptok:  In a very general way, marriage is understood as the cohabitation of man and woman with a view to reproduction. Can this narrow and very physical dimension be the essence of marriage? Doesn’t the success of marriage depends also on a communion between the personality, psychology and above all the soul of the married couple?
What is your opinion? Do you think that in modern society such a definition of marriage is relevant and realistic?

AGATHE:  No, not in my opinion. The world is so crowded now, 7 milliard  human!, so it is not necessary to have everybody the own children .


Songsoptok: It seems that in today’s society the clash of personalities, especially within marriage, is an unpleasant reality. Almost 100 years back, D.H.Lawrence said in Lady Chatterley's Lover “The modern cult of personality is excellent for friendship between sexes, and fatal for marriage”. In other words, he thought that the development of woman’s personality is actually a hindrance to successful marriage. What is your opinion? Do you think that it is the inability of the patriarchal society to tolerate the independence of women the main reason for the marital conflicts in today’s society?

AGATHE: I think, the men act very stupid. They are so proud of their sex and doe not like to share the power. But so most of the women getting  stronger and stronger. What a dissipate of forth, creativity and imagination !!!!


Songsoptok: Do you think that society perceives a divorced man and woman in the same way? Most of the time we see that the woman is blamed for not making the necessary compromises. So the implicit assumption is that the success of a marriage is directly related to the woman’s capacity to compromise. What is you view?

AGATHE: Yes, that is so like you said.


Songsoptok: Do you think that divorce affects the conscious and the subconscious of the children? What, according to you, could be the effect of a divorce in their adult lives, positive or negative?

AGATHE: Mostly negative, because they will never understand, why a man and a woman, wich loved each other, now have only bad sens now.


Songsoptok:  Generally it is the mother who takes care of the children following a divorce. Although children need their mother more while growing up, what kind of impact can the absence of a father figure have on a growing child? So what according to you should be the role of the mother?

AGATHE: There is one big “dead-sin, never the mother is allowed to speaks bad about the children Father, never, never!
And it is sure, it is not easy for only one to be 2 persons: mother and father


Songsoptok: What according to you could be the impact of the growing number of divorces on the next generations? Or do you think this is the way tomorrow’s society will evolve?

AGATHE: Today there are about half of the marriages are divorces, so it will be influential to the next generation. We can not imagine how the evolve will be, only are able to speculate .

I am married since 40 years now, but I also want the divorce  jet. My deep love to my really nice and good looking husband, is escaped. You know, more than 20 years he never sais, that he loves me. Than he had girlfriends and went to a prostitute . Afterwards he said to  me extremely seldom, that he loves me. And he likes to make love only once a week in the Sunday morning. This is not enough for me, never, never. Since the age of 12 I have always some admirers, so I could choos as much as I want




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